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Military Jokes

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Three German artillerymen were on probation for lackluster performance. To secure continued enlistment in the military, they had to take a test that involved firing an egg out of a cannon, towards their commanding officer. They needed to use the smallest angle necessary to fire the egg in a way that didn't hit their CO. The first man fired too low and hit the CO with an egg. The CO pointed at the man and laughed, calling him a failure. The second man fired a little higher, but also hit the CO, c

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A green berret is sitting in his living room one evening... And all three of his teenage daughters come up to him, and tell him that they'll be upstairs getting ready for their dates. The old man just smiles and nods as his eyes turn to the gun by the door. Around eight 'o' clock the green berret hears a knock at the door, and gets up to see who it is. Behind the door, the man sees the boy on the other side all gussied up in a nice suit. The military man grills him for a moment before asking his

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In a medieval kingdom... There's a force of Knights who dominated the land - you could always tell if they were about to attack you, because they would chuck a giant rock with a war symbol on it before they arrived to kill. Hence, they became known as the 'signs'. They had two forces: a main force, but then a company who would travel beside them, and supply them. One morning, a man shows up named 'Juan', and challenges the signs. The signs laughed, and thought they needed only their squires to d

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WORKPLACE FARTING OPTIONS EXPLORED Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts. Seventy percent of the time, we can dispense freely. The other 30% of the time, such as at work, we have some tough decisions to make. This document is intended to help you in those decisions. Holders - The obvious choice is just plain holding it in. A popular choice among the females and an almost impossible choice for males. I am not in favor of holding, as I bel

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The Man and the Shaggy Dog Once upon a time, a man decided to climb a mountain. He took a nasty fall, badly bruising himself, and landed in the woods next to a shaggy-haired dog. Despite his injuries, he limped back to his house, where he left the dog, then to the nearest hospital, where he got some x-rays. When he got home, the dog looked hungry, so he made a steak just for the dog, and turned on the television. He was just about to call the pound when he heard that a wealthy couple, on vacatio

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A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him end

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Intelligent blonde and a ventriloquist Blonde: ""I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and men like you continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all

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