Walker Jokes

I wonder how many old people have died trying to cut open tennis balls to put on their walker.

One plus of being a fast walker is that when I'm forced to walk slowly with another person, I can pretend I'm on the moon

[blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) "So what do u do?" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]

That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom.

My brother and I replaced the tennis balls on Nana's walker with superballs and watching her bounce down the steps was a kodak moment.

A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning. A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning when he sees an elderly man crouched by a gravestone. Not wishing to appear rude the dog-walker greets the elderly man with a cheery: ""Morning!"" The elderly man replies: ""Oh no, just taking a dump.""

There's going to be a Fast and Furious cameo on Walking Dead Paul, walker

Investment fail In college, an ounce of heady weed was the same price as an ounce of gold. I made terrible investments and now I'm a dog walker.

Ben Carson is the best sleep walker ever Sometimes he wakes up and finds out he's standing on Republican presidential debate stage.

WORKPLACE FARTING OPTIONS EXPLORED Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts. Seventy percent of the time, we can dispense freely. The other 30% of the time, such as at work, we have some tough decisions to make. This document is intended to help you in those decisions. Holders - The obvious choice is just plain holding it in. A popular choice among the females and an almost impossible choice for males. I am not in favor of holding, as I bel…

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but... she needs a new Walker more than the Fast and Furious franchise.

The dog is the worst animal to be with... When somebody decides to call you a bitch. Because you're holding the dog that's being walked, at a higher degree of respect than the person walking it. You see someone walking a dog and someone asks ""who's that"", and you say ""a bitch with a dog"". The bitch in that context, is the walker, not the dog.

Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing? Police say they are following a few leads.

My friend is a professional sleep-walker. He's just livin the dream.

The Fish Princess and the Commoner Crab Once upon a time, in the undersea kingdom, there lived a fish princess. This fish princess had fallen in love with a peasant crab. When her father, the fish king, found out about their affair he forbade her to ever see him again. When she asked him why he replied ""No daughter of mine will consort with a lowly sideways-walking crab!"" Devastated, but with no other choice, the fish princess goes to her crab and delivers the news. ""My father says we can't b…

You've never been truly drunk until you've had to use a bar-stool as a walker to get home.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities by the hand of Chuck Norris that occurred during the making of the episode.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

One time on the set of Walker, Texas Ranger, a sheep gave birth to a stillborn lamb in front of a gathered crowd of the show's cast and crew. Chuck Norris then nuzzled the lamb's lifeless body, bringing it to life and awing the crowd. He then roundhouse kicked the lamb, killing it instantly. This was done to show that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh.

A new and inexperienced waitress tells another waitress she is concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them. The other waitress explains that tray stands are placed throughout the restaurant. The nervous beginner serves all her lunches successfully, and afterwards asks an elderly couple if everything has been all right. ""It was fine, dear,"" replies the man, ""but my wife and I have to leave now. Could she please have her walker back?""

Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship he discovered that the cabin door was locked so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying 'Who's there?'

Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.