Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*

I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them I have a problem.

I wonder how many old people have died trying to cut open tennis balls to put on their walker.