When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*

-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!

Just saw a snake slither through my backyard, so if anyone wants a house in Houston, it's yours.

Hey Texas, in Florida it's legal to abort other people's kids up to 17 years.