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Belgium Jokes

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A Dutchman is driving in Belgium when he hits a Belgian car. The Belgian whose car he hit was upset, as it was severely dented and the Dutchman was clearly at fault. But the Dutchman, unwilling to pay for the damages, managed to calm him down by explaining to him how to remove the dents: ""Just blow into the exhaust, and the dents will pop out in no time"". So the Belgian starts blowing and the Dutchman leaves. Ten minutes later, a police car stops to see what is happening, and the Belgian expla

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When Belgian people want go into the Sun ! First of all, sorry for my english, it's an old Joke from my Grand Father (RIP ). AN AWESOME NEW in the World Journal, Belgian People are gonna investigate the Sun ! Everyone is crazy, insane ! So after this news, they ask How you can go on the Sun ? It will burn you before ! And the Belgium's director of the Sun's Project said : You, World, think we're all crazy, but we found the idea ! - ""We will go at night ! "" some love for Belgium ! Ps: If anyon

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I was apprenticing at a restaurant in Belgium I'm a connoisseur of the culinary arts, so I figured, where better to learn about them than in one of the premiere restaurant in French-speaking Belgium, namely Le Nie, in the heart of Bruges? So, much to my mother's dismay, I booked myself a flight and took off alone to meet my culinary destiny. When I arrived in Bruges, I found my way to my hostel, where I met a lovely Norwegian girl who introduced herself as Sieglinde who seemed to share my intere

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After the checkup A recent bride accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the checkup, the doctor took the bride aside and said, ""If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."" Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast, including hot chocolate and Belgium waffles, and send him off to work with a kiss on his cheek and in a good mood. At lunchtime, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work. For dinner, fix an espe

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The Belgium cow Now everyone knows the best milk comes from cows bred in Belgium. One day, A Scottish farmer who was impressed by these cows decides it would be a good idea to buy one and mate it with one of his bulls and earn more money off of their milk without having to spend for another cow. So the farmer brings both the cow and the bull outside to get them to mate, but every time the bull tried to mount her the cow ran away. He approached from the right she went left, he approached from the

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The Belgians are pissed off... The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are. He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch. Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; "meh, we will build a bridge in the Sahara". The king of Belgium approves and so it happens; the Dutch build a bridge in the desert. They became the laughing stock of the world. The kin

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So the Belgians are pissed... The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are. He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch. Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; "meh, we will build a bridge in the Sahara". The king of Belgium approves and so it happens; the Dutch build a bridge in the desert. They became the laughing stock of the world. The king o

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In the 70s... A Russian asks for a meeting with the President \- I would like a passport and a visa to Belgium - asks the Russian man \- But aren't you fine in Russia? - asks the president \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- So, maybe you don't like your work there? \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- Maybe it is the life there that you don't like? \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- Then it is socialism that doesn't satisfy you? \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- But now I'm confused.

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