USA lose graciously to Belgium in the World Cup. Obama says no hard feelings & any drones heading towards Belgium are nothing to worry about

"Let's tell people about our waffle and then not do shit for 100 years." -Belgium

Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean.

DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.