Paris Jokes

Jokes

Paris is suing Fox News for repeatedly insulting it. Also suing them for the same reason: your intelligence.

#Paris #Fox News #One-Liner

Yes, of course I love French films. Have you seen Rugrats in Paris?

#Paris #One-Liner

I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today

#Paris #France #One-Liner

If the car in front of me were moving any slower, it'd be Paris Hilton's thought process.

#Paris #Driving #One-Liner

*bursts out of stable on a chihuahua* "Wait, if you're here then that means" *cut to a horse peeking it's head out of Paris Hiltons purse*

#Chihuahua #Paris #Animals

DAUGHTER: why did you name me Paris? ME: You were conceived on our honeymoon in Paris SON: OMG!! ME: (to son) what's wrong 97FordF150?

#Paris

Just got back from the Dollar Store. I bought two cars and a trip to Paris for three bucks.

#Paris #One-Liner

After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed.

#Paris #Sheets And Headboard

[on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim

#Tim #Paris #Animals

Paris Hilton was arrested for coke possession. Said her family, "If you love cocaine so much Paris, why don't you Marriott?"

#Paris Hilton #Paris

The 9:50 from Paris has been diverted. Nothing to do with the weather, we just don't like the French.

#Paris #One-Liner

So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, "I will kill you in your sleep."

#Paris #Marriage

Flying Blind A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning. The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, ""The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."" The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. ""We're flying o…

#Big Ben #Paris #Eiffel Tower The #London+2 more

I thought Jayz and kanyes current song.... ...was about Ms Hilton's sequel to one night in Paris.

#Ms Hiltons #Paris #One-Liner

A German lands in Paris... Upon having his passport verified, the French officer asks him: -Occupation? -Oh, no no, just visiting!

#Paris #Police

An American is visiting his friends in Paris... ...and he is having trouble understanding some of the French idioms. ""Specifically,"" he says, ""the French expression *sang froid*. I know it literally means 'cold blood', but when would you use it?"" The first Frenchman nods and says, ""It is when you walk into your bedroom and see your friend making love with your wife. If you simply close the door and leave, then you have *sang froid*."" ""*Non, non, non*,"" the second Frenchman exclaims. ""It…

#Paris #Marriage

Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree.

#Brooklyn #Paris #One-Liner

Invisible My friend just said to me, ""If you became invisible, what would you do first?"" I said, ""I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding.""

#Paris #Dark Humor

An American woman, for the first time in Paris... So this American woman travels to Paris. In the hotel bathroom she sees a bidet. She hasn't ever seen a bidet in her life, so next time that she sees the chambermaid she asks: ""Is this to wash the babies in?"" ""Non, c'est pas. This is to wash the babies out.""

#Paris

Two nuns are riding bicycles in Paris... One says, ""I've never come this way before."" The other replies, ""must be the cobblestones.""

#Paris

Headed to the Gyno... I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quic…

#Paris #School #Work #Driving+2 more

My favorite blonde joke -Source: I don't remember where I first saw it, but when I googled it coolblondejokes.com got first result One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb. They begged: ""Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."" The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd. She got up on the car too and …

#New York #USA #Paris #The Group+2 more

An American biker decides to travel the world... Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day. One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe. For the next few weeks, Rick spent his days riding to and through some of the most popular European cities like Paris, …

#Rick #Harley #Paris #London+4 more

So this newly wed girl asks me how I've managed to be happily married for 30 years... And I tell her the 25 years have been tough, but the last 5 have been amazing. ""Why"" she asks. ""Because for the longest time my wife has been begging me to take her to Paris for our 25th anniversary, so when it came time I took her to Paris, smartest decision I've made, we've been happy ever since"" She says ""that's beautiful, are you planning anything special for your 30th?"" To which I answer ""unfortunat…

#Paris #Marriage

What do you call the rough parts of Paris? La Ba-ghetto

#Paris #One-Liner