Paris Jokes

These attacks in Paris were really terrible 13/11 never baguette

I hear Paris is the bomb this time of year People are just dying to be there

I thought it was sweet that the Democratic debate maintained a Paris related theme... The whole debate was Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley Eiffel Towering Hillary Clinton.

Bad Luck Lincoln: Comes back from the dead, faces his fear by seeing a concert In Paris

To add to the death toll in Paris, this post was enough. She thinks 9/11 is November http://imgur.com/WmkIubI

RIP Paris Terror Attack Victims Never baguette

Saudi Arabia about the paris attacks- Lol Saudi Arabia: The ""heinous"" Paris attacks are a violation of all religions and underline the need to intensify efforts against ""terrorism,"" Saudi Arabia's foreign minister said Saturday. ""I wanted to express our condolences to the government and people of France for the heinous terrorist attacks that took place yesterday which are in violation and contravention of all ethics, morals and religions,"" Adel al-Jubeir told reporters in Vienna. ""The kin…

What's ISIS's favourite song? Niggas in Paris

Paris attack I beat the paris mission in mw3 today

What's going on in Paris is outrageous. You think the french would have surrendered by now.

Did you hear about the little guy compelled to clap in time whenever he was on the Paris underground? He was a Metro gnome.

Bob and Jim in Paris Two Americans, Bob and Jim, are on vacation in Paris. They're walking down the street, when a car pulls up, slamming on the brakes. The driver leans out. ""Parlez vous Francais?"" Bob looks at Jim and shrugs. ""Habla Espanol?"" The two men just stare. ""Parli Italiano?"" No answer. The man throws his hands up and then drives away. They walk on a bit farther, and then Bob says to Jim, ""You know, we should learn another language."" ""Why?"" Jim asks. ""That guy knew three lan…

What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip? Murdered in a tunnel in Paris.

Little Johnny's at it again.... A teacher asks her class, ""What do you want to be when you grow up?"" Little Johnny says ""I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day"". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not…

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride The man from Egypt says ""we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids"". A while later the man from Paris says ""we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here"". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said ""we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!"".

The french minister of transport receive his counterpart from Uganda ... After the offical things, he invite him to his place, outside of Paris. The Ugandan minister is astonished, as the place is a well restored and luxurious XVI century castle. He then ask : - But, how did you pay for that ? I thought you came from a poor family. - Come at the window, says the French. Do you see the highway over there ? - Yes ... - Well, it was billed for 1 billion. But the real cost was only 700 millions. - O…

Old Arabian Guy in New Work An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: ""Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."" The following day, the old man receives a respons…

An American in Paris An American is visiting Paris for the first time. He booked a guided tour of the city, and is rather eager to discover the monuments. They start the tour, and arrive in front of the Eiffel Tower. ""What is This ?"" said the tourist. ""This is the Tour Eiffel, it took two years to build, from 1887 to 1889"" said the guide. ""Ha ! In my country, in the USA, we can build this in few weeks !"" They arrive in front of Notre Dame de Paris cathedral. ""What is this ?"" shouted the …

A dad goes to his son's fiance in Paris He asks, ""What is your favorite le colour"" She replies, ""Oh how I le like de colour yellow!"" ""Ok, my son shall be le glad to show you his le teeth!"" ""Au Revoir!"" **Edit: Or was it Sons'?**

A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman. ""Is everything alright?"" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his a…

A newel married women is looking to book for honeymoon A newly married Women goes a travel agent & says, ""Can you give me a great deal on a Honeymoon package"" Agent: We have a $8000 package to Hawaii for 3 nights / 2 days including Flight, Hotel & Food Women: Do you have a cheaper package? Agent: We have a 2 Nights / 3 Days package to Florida Keys that includes travel, hotel & Drinks for $5000 Women: Do you have a package cheaper than this? A better deal? Agent: We have a special o…

Did you hear about the recent theft from the Louvre in Paris? Three paintings were stolen. The thieves took the Renoir to get the Monet to get their Van Gogh.

A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed.

I knew I'do have to close the podiatry clinic I had opened in Paris. I smelled defeat.

Little Johnny jokes A teacher asks her class, ""What do you want to be when you grow up?"" Little Johnny says ""I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day"". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give imp…