The most useful lesson I learned from my cat is if somebody puts clothing on you, just freeze and flop over on your side.#Lesson#Animals0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a movie is to not steal black girls' cheer routines.#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco.#Lesson#James Franco#North Korea#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Apparently, lifting your feet so she can reach underneath, Is NOT considered "helping her vacuum." Lesson learned, fellas. Lesson learned.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!#Lesson#School#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
It's true. Parents that use drugs, have kids that use drugs. So, there's an important lesson here... Don't have kids.#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I caught my son jerking off a wolf, so to teach him a lesson I made him stroke the whole pack.#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"I know, right?!!" Is the WRONG thing to say when my neighbor tells me that his wife is wild in bed. Lesson learned.#Lesson#Marriage#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Well, well, well... If it isn't the lesson I should've learned by now.#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The most important lesson I learned from watching The Muppet Show is when cooking meth always test your product on the drummer of the band#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.#Carol#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. Let that be a lesson... never try to fly a donkey.#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.#Lesson#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Today's life lesson: "I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is.#Lesson#Animals0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Just learned an important lesson: When texting "wish you were here," that last e kind of makes it or breaks it.#Lesson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I have a concrete strip on my front lawn painted to look like a slip n slide and every summer 10 to 15 kids learn a valuable lesson on it.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
My ten year old made me pay him $10 to do the dishes, so I mugged him on his way to the bathroom because, you know, life lesson.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Lesson of the day: NEVER EVER make fun of an Asian woman on her period. On a related note: I got stabbed with a chopstick.#Lesson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp