Lesson Jokes

Sindhi goes to Dentist A Sindhi went to a dentist for tooth extraction but first enquired about the cost. Dentist said Rs 1200, the Sindhi thought that was too much. After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods. The dentist said Yes, it can be done without anaesthesia and will cost only Rs 300, but it would be very very painful. Sindhi said OK Doc, let's do it without anaesthesia. The dentist removed the tooth without anesthesia. During the entire procedure, the Sindhi sat quietly, even sm…

I learned a very important lesson at Mount Rushmore. The best presidents were stoned.

Inflatable boy There was an inflatable boy, and he goes to an inflatable school. While there, he finds himself having a really bad day. Bored with the lesson, he gets up and walks out of the inflatable classroom but, while walking down the corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster approaching him. The inflatable boy pulls out a pin and punctures the inflatable headmaster before running out of the inflatable school gates. Just as he gets past the gates, he thinks again, ""I hate school"", and o…

One day in bible class... A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, ""But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"" Miss replied, ""Stay out of this one, Leroy!""

""Boy, those people look like ants!"" A man, riddled with fear, is in the middle of his first flying lesson. With a shaky voice, weak knees and pants that once were dry he shudders to the instructor ""Boy, those people look like ants!!"" and the instructor reluctantly replies ""That's because they are. We haven't left yet Carl.""

Benny and the Magic Urn Once upon a time there was a man named Benny. Benny was a simple man with simple talents and simple desires. He was a quiet fellow who loved to walk the beach when he had some time to spare. He was the kind of guy you wouldn't mind having a drink with, but anything more might be tedious. One day, as Benny was walking the beach, he stumbled over a small black jar-shaped object. Benny curiously picked it up and began to brush off the sand. *Woosh* Benny winced as sand flew …

A lesson at a Soviet school During a political lesson at a Soviet school the teacher asks her class, ""Children, do you see God?"" ""No"" reply the pupils in unison. ""Good"" says the teacher, ""that means there is no God"" Vovochka yells from the back of the class, ""And can you see Mariya Ivanovna's brain? ""No"" reply the pupils ""Well, that sure as hell doesn't mean it's not there""

I took a piano lesson with Elton John... He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool.

A son tells his father that the first driving lesson was great. Until the police stopped the stolen car!

Pirate joke A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question. ""What is a pirates favorite letter"". A student's excitedly shouts "" R ""! Teacher replys ""You would think it's R but it's the C they love"".

Jared Fogel is teaching a music class in prison Today's lesson is fingering A minor

when Life teaches you a lesson make lessonade! im tired

So a young boy in China is asked a question by his teacher... ""Do you know where the Empire State Building in New York is?"" The child answers, ""No I don't."" The teacher grows quite frantic, ""You're gonna have to go to the principals for this. So, as the child is in the office the principal asks him why he is there, ""I was sent by my teachers because I didn't know where the Empire State Building in New York is."" The principal gets scared and says, ""You need to go to court for this."" So, …

A LESSON IN MORALS One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. ""My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."" When t…

A poor boy came by selling candies. I called him and gave him $50 bill for the whole bag. Amazed, he gave me his entire bag. He was very happy, his face said it all. That day I learned a life lesson: there will always be hope and time to get rid of a fake bill.

Nasty African Joke: The virtues of paying attention to details: First year University of Kenyatta medical students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, ""The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body."" For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mout…

There's this inflatable boy... And he goes to this inflatable school and, while there, finds himself having a really bad day. Bored with the lesson, he gets up and walks out of the inflatable classroom but, while walking down the corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster approaching him. The inflatable boy pulls out a pin and punctures the inflatable headmaster before running out of the inflatable school gates. Just as he gets past the gates, he thinks again, ""I hate school"", and once more p…

Texting an old crush After 15 years I was texting my classmate my once upon a time crush. She asked me why I was typing so slow, and I said ""Because my other hand isn't free!"" She is not replying anymore. Lesson learnt Never smoke while texting

Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, ""Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in…

Anakin's Perfect Math Class Anakin Skywalker (complete with his Darth Vader suit) is tutoring his son Luke because as we all know, math is very important for both Sith and Jedi. How else are they supposed to figure out how to blow up Death Stars and make their own? Today's lesson happened to be taking the derivatives and integrals of functions, which Luke happened to be struggling at a little more than usual. ""Daaaaad, it's so hard! I need some simple practice problems!"" ""Okay, so if x^2 + y^…

A teacher is teaching a school lesson Teacher: Whoever stands up is stupid, and will be expelled from this school! *nobody stands up* Teacher: Any volunteers? *a witty student stands up* Teacher: Johnny, do you really want to get expelled? Johnny: No, I just thought you were kind of lonely standing by yourself.

Religion in a nutshell You and the other students are in a classroom. The teacher uses the same book that no one is even sure that the book is legit. Heck, nobody even knows if the guy who wrote it is even real. The teacher, for every single day, of every single semester, uses the same book but the lesson is basically the teacher reading through the lines, trying to extract some hidden meaning behind them all. When the other classes come together for recess, they argue about which book is right.…

Little Johnny's at it again.... A teacher asks her class, ""What do you want to be when you grow up?"" Little Johnny says ""I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day"". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not…

Garry Glitter gave me my first guitar lesson the other day He showed me how to finger A minor

An old man and a teenager are talking in the street The old man says, ""It's your generation that's destroying our society."" **Reader Reaction: Ugh! That nasty cynical old man! That's obviously not true! I hope he gets his comeuppance!** The teenager replies, ""Man, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me, I'd have enough money to buy a house in the economy YOU destroyed!"" **Reader Reaction: OOOH! Take that you uncouth old man! I'm glad he got found out and we all learned a va…