Benny Jokes

A (long) joke I actually made up all by myself so at least give me points for it not being a repost (though I will let you be the judge of whether it's actually funny) Benny Jefferson was born in 1894, and gets to his 118th birthday. There are only four known humans who have got to this age, and there is a buzz in the scientific community, who wants to use Benny's wisdom to try to extend human life. Several scientists go to Benny's house and find an old, but energetic man watering the lawn. ""Ar…

There was a man named Benny. Benny was a very kind man, but he could not find a wife because he was very ugly. One day, he was walking on the beach alone, depressed, when he saw an urn lying on the ground. He picked it up and a genie appeared. ""Congratulations, you have found the magic genie of the urn!"" The genie said. ""You may have one wish."" Benny was very excited and he said, ""I want a long beard to attract all the women and find a wife."" The genie replied, ""I can do that, but you mus…

Benny and the Magic Urn Once upon a time there was a man named Benny. Benny was a simple man with simple talents and simple desires. He was a quiet fellow who loved to walk the beach when he had some time to spare. He was the kind of guy you wouldn't mind having a drink with, but anything more might be tedious. One day, as Benny was walking the beach, he stumbled over a small black jar-shaped object. Benny curiously picked it up and began to brush off the sand. *Woosh* Benny winced as sand flew …

Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, ''My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane to scatter his ashes in the sky.'' The second man said, ''My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake.'' The third man said, ''My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can …

A clone experiment gone wrong. A laboratory, hidden from public knowledge, secretly worked on the cloning of humans. Of course, human cloning being illegal, their staff was limited to a select few that had both the credentials and the disregard for rules that was considered essential to be a successful researcher at the facility. And then, naturally, there were the volunteers. Many of the volunteers were quite popular with the scientists, but chief amongst them was Benny. Benny was the picture o…

not really a joke... just something stupid that I said but it made two friends of mine, who were there at the time, chuckle. I was with a guy named Benny in a dinner and the waitress brought the bill. I turned to the other guy and said ""oh my god they billed Benny. You bastards"". Thats pretty much it. I'll let my self out.

Some of my favourites. Warning: Wrong. Q. Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? A. Everywhere Q. Why did little Benny fall of the swings? A. He had no arms. 1. Knock Knock. 2. Whose there? 1. Not little Benny

Benny and the Urn - A shaggy dog story with a moral. Here's my embellished version of a joke I learned when I was a kid. I swear to god there's no loch ness monster. **Benny and the Urn** Once upon a time a man named Benny was living in ancient Mesopotamia. A miner by trade, one day he discovered a secret cavern filled with jewels, gold, and piled high with priceless artifacts. The floor was covered with golden jars, urns that were formed from solid gold. They were each the size of a man's heart…

Little Benny was looking depressed, so his fourth grade teacher, Miss Feldman, asked, ""What's the problem, Benny? I hope it's not homework again..."" ""Well, uh, yes it is, mam"" replied Little Benny. ""I made my homework paper into a paper airplane."" ""Benny, that wasn't a very bright thing to do,"" Miss Feldman said, ""but this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in."" ""Oh, but it's worse than that..."" replied Little Benny, looking even sadder. ""You see, the plane was hij…

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric perhaps odd in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickna…

This is the story of an Egyptian named... Benny. One day, Benny was strolling along the banks of the Nile, minding his own business. However, he came across an urn, buried in the sand. The urn was all dusty and dented and cracked and bent and generally broken. However, Benny decided to rub the urn with his sleeve, thinking he might be able to get a few coins out of it. But suddenly, out of the urn came a Genie! The genie stretched and yawned and said: "Oh! Thank you! Thank you so much! I can't…

Benny and the Magic Urn Once upon a time there was a man named Benny. Benny was a simple man with simple talents and simple desires. He was a quiet fellow who loved to walk the beach when he had some time to spare. He was the kind of guy you wouldn't mind having a drink with, but anything more might be tedious. One day, as Benny was walking the beach, he stumbled over a small black jar-shaped object. Benny curiously picked it up and began to brush off the sand. *Woosh* Benny winced as sand fl…

The most popular man in the world Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat. "Ned, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Ned. "Now Ned," says …

Benny the Bare Faced Viking Benny was your typical Viking.. Strong, tall, courageous, he was the ideal viking in every way, except for one.. See Benny couldn't grow a beard, for all his 30 winters on Earth, he still had just as smooth a face as the day he was born. This bothered Benny, because when he was out pillaging, nobody took him serious.. Who is scared of a baby faced warrior that looks like he's 16? The final straw for Benny just happened at the last raid his opponent laughed at him a…

Benny the Viking Benny was your typical Viking. Strong, tall and courageous, he was the ideal viking in every way, except for one. See, Benny couldn’t grow a beard. For all his 30 winters on Earth, he still had just as smooth a face as the day he was born. This bothered Benny, because when he was out pillaging, nobody took him seriously. Who is scared of a baby faced warrior that looks like he’s 16? The final straw for Benny just happened at the last raid. His opponent laughed at him and as…

A Man With One Wish There was once a man named Benny. Benny was old

Benny the Bare Faced Viking Benny was your typical Viking..

Benny and the Magic Urn Once upon a time there was a man named Benny. Benny was a simple man with simple talents and simple desires. He was a quiet fellow who loved to walk the beach when he had some time to spare. He was the kind of guy you wouldn't mind having a drink with

A census-taker in Missouri went up to a trailer home and knocked on the door. When a woman answered, he asked her the names and ages of her children. She said: "Let's see now, there are the twins, Billy and Bobby, they're fifteen. And the twins, Seth and Beth, they're fourteen. And the twins, Benny and Jenny, they're thirteen." "Wait a minute!" said the census-taker. "Did you get twins every time?" "Heck no," answered the woman. "There were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'." Did you hear …