A (long) joke I actually made up all by myself so at least give me points for it not being a repost (though I will let you be the judge of whether it's actually funny) Benny Jefferson was born in 1894, and gets to his 118th birthday. There are only four known humans who have got to this age, and there is a buzz in the scientific community, who wants to use Benny's wisdom to try to extend human life. Several scientists go to Benny's house and find an old, but energetic man watering the lawn. ""Are you Benny Jefferson,"" asks Dr. Aggerson, a leading longevity scientist. ""Yep, that's me,"" says the shirtless old man watering the lawn. He moves quickly and spryly toward the scientists, who each shake his hand. ""You look great for being 118 years old, Benny!"" ""Thanks. I feel great. Got another 20 years in me!"" says Benny. They go in and sit down in Benny's living room. They notice that he has a spotless house, with none of the often-found medical equipment found in the houses of older people. The scientists are all amazed. They have to know how he has achieved such a long life and to still be in such good shape. ""How do you do it, Benny?"" Aggerson asks. ""I started my own business when I was 20,"" says Benny, settling in to tell his story (which makes the joke even longer, isn't that great). I decided I hated Monday, so I was closed on Mondays. I also loved fishing, so I went fishing on Fridays. So while most people were working five days, I only worked three."" ""How did that help you live longer?"" the scientists wondered, still not getting it. ""Well with that schedule, Tuesday was Monday, since it was the first day of the week. And Thursday was Friday, since it was the last day of the week. So if Sunday and Monday were Sunday and Tuesday was Monday, while Wednesday was Wednesday and Thursday was Friday, meanwhile Friday and Saturday were both Saturday. So Tuesday and Thursday don't exist. Even though I was born in 1894, I'm actually only 72 years old!"" Three of the scientists threw themselves off a bridge, one was committed to an asylum, and the one who wrote the publication was assassinated. Benny lived to be 155.