Blonde Smarts *Note; this joke as I originally heard it involves blondes by convention; if you're offended by this stereotyping, replace it with your own generic cultural symbol of dullness. --- Blondes around the world began getting tired of being constantly mocked. The taunts were beginning to get to them, and the poor blondes were not going to tolerate being the butt of every joke any more. ""We are not as dumb as you think,"" they proclaimed, ""and we will go to whatever lengths necessary to prove it!"" They scheduled a meeting of blondes from around the world to figure out how they wanted to dispel their negative image and show that blondes can be as clever and intelligent as anyone else. The blondes grouped together and held a conference in order to decide what was to be done about the issue. Eventually, they came to a consensus: they would host an intellectual quiz to prove just how bright they are. A representative of their golden-haired people would go onto a stage in a televised event in front of the whole world and answer questions from judges to show just how brilliant that blonde people are. If the blonde answers any question wrong then she loses and the pride and reputation of blonde people will be forever tarnished. However, the blondes are confident in their success and make arrangements for the quiz. The day of the competition arrives, and a panel of three judges has been selected for the event. The representative blonde is nominated, voted on and swiftly approved to answer the questions, and the stadium is set with an audience of almost all the blondes in the world. The blonde clears her throat, the cameras are turned on and the quiz begins. ""Question 1,"" the first judge bellows, ""is a question in higher level physics."" The blonde nods cautiously and the judge continues. ""Using only pencil, paper and the most powerful calculator we can find, derive a formula to explain how many dimensions exist in the universe and explain how it relates to the evolution of space-time according to Einstein's Theory of Relativity."" The blonde immediately begins to sweat, but does not lose her composure. She takes the pencil, some paper and the calculator and stares intently at the paper, deep in thought. The judges wait, the crowd begins becoming restless. After about an hour of silence, the blonde looks up, disheartened. ""I'm afraid I don't know."" A groan of disappointment emanates through the crowd, but is quickly followed by enthusiastic chanting and cheering: ""Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"" The sheer ruckus of the crowd causes the judges to huddle together and discuss the situation. They decide that the question was somewhat unfair to ask one poor girl working alone, and they rule to throw out the question and ask a new one. The crowd screams with delight and quickly settles down. ""Your next question,"" the second judge asks, ""is in the category of sports. I want you to tell me which team it was that won the third Superbowl in history."" The blonde takes her papers and pencil once more and begins making a few drawings and charts as she digs through her brain for the answer. After about two hours, she looks up, on the verge of tears. ""I'm sorry,"" she murmurs, ""I don't know that either."" The audience gasps in shock. However, the spirit of the blondes is still strong. ""Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"" The judges confer once more in order to decide what to do while the noise of the crowd rises. Eventually, in order to appease the audience the judges decide to ask one more question. The crowd quickly settles and the judges think of a way to end the quiz quickly before the audience becomes unruly. ""Your next question,"" says the third judge, slightly exhausted, ""is in mathematics. What is... two times two?"" The blonde immediately takes her pencil in hand and begins scribbling furiously over the paper. She writes and writes with unmatched fervor, jotting away and calculating rapidly. One hour passes, then two hours as she continues working nonstop. Finally, after three hours the judges become impatient and demand an answer. After a few quick last-minute notes, the blonde sets her pencil down and nods confidently. The judges wait on the edge of their seats for her response. ""The answer is four!"" the blonde proclaims triumphantly. ""Give her another chance! Give her another chance!""