Luke Jokes

"i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope" "use divorce, luke"

Yoda: *dies and fades away* Luke: Thank God. I was so sick of his backward talking. Ghost Yoda: Heard that, I did.

"The new Star Wars comes out in two years". (Luke 20:15).

[mom ridiculing me in front of new GF] "Luke was afraid to go into family changing rooms until 22 because he thought he'd get a new family"

If another day goes by without a Matthew, Mark, Luke and John forming a boyband called New Testament, I'm going to give up on everything.

Luke is so old now he just uses the Force to keep the neighborhood kids off his lawn

Matthew 28, John 20. Luke 24, Mark 21. That means Matthew and Luke will meet in the finals.

"Luke, I have no idea who your father is." #AlternateUniverseFilms

"Use divorce, Luke." "" Obi Wan, marriage counselor

Darth Vader: "Listen Luke, this is a new arrangement for both of us. Let's not force things. Just let me know if you need a hand."

Darth Vader: Join me on the Dark Side, Luke! Luke: I'll never join you! Vader: We have flex hours and Pizza Fridays! Luke: NOOOOOO!!!

A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing

If you're a comedian named Luke and your 1st album isn't named Luke Who's Talking, I don't even know why you got into this game at all.

John 3:16. Matthew 3:17. Luke 3:18. It was a very close race.

I wonder who plays the "famous rich guy who can relate to poor people" on the AT&T; commercials at Luke Wilson's house?

Plot twist: "Luke, I am your Mother." - Yoda

Vader: "I am your father." Luke: "I am your father." Vader: "Stop copying me." Luke: "Stop copying me." Vader: "Shut up." Luke: "Shut up."

Emperor: Luke, kill Vader and become my apprentice. Vader: But why? I've been loyal. Emperor: Have you ever listened to yourself breathe?

luke, thats a persons name. whys everybodys star wars name gotta be like, hoobie doodoo or seb neb or something

[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? "Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"

Luke, I am your uncle. Luke, I am your third cousin. Luke, I am your grandmother. - Skywalker family reunion

Vader: Remove my helmet so I can see you with my own eyes. Luke: OK. Vader: On second thought, don't. I have 30 years worth of hat hair.

Vader: I AM your father. Luke: Why are you telling me this now? Vader: Luke: Vader: I need a kidney.

Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way.

Han, Luke, Obi Wan and Chewie begin there journey to the Death Star aboard the Falcon... ... immediately Chewbacca begins to emit a low, growling whisper - clearly trying to indicate something to his shipmates Obi Wan: I can't hear a word he's saying Luke: Yeah, Han, can't you tell your friend to speak up a bit? Han: Sorry guys.. thats just how the Wookie mumbles