Luke Jokes

If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han.

What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do.

A pastor tells his congregation how ""The Bible touches on all subjects. Even PMS,"" he says... ""See, right here in Luke, chapter 2 it says 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."" Edit: a word

[Starwars] How can you tell Luke is Uncircumcised? Because he has Force Kin.

Darth Vader says to Luke 'I know what you're getting for Christmas'. Luke: How could you know that? Darth: I have felt your presents

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners? Use the forks Luke.

A wife texts her husband on a cold winters morning... ""Windows frozen"" ...... Husband texts back, ""Pour some luke warm water over it""...... Wife replies, ""Computer completely stuffed now""

Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks... Luke: are we on track? Yoda: off course, we are.

50 of the least offensive jokes I know. 1. When does a car stop being a car? When it's driving down the road and turns into a driveway. 2. What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow? Brownchickenbrowncow. *Edited to lower offense levels* 3. Why do Programmers wear costumes on Christmas? Because DEC 25 is OCT 31. *Edited to lower offense levels* 4. How do you throw a party in space? You planet. 5. Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies. 6. How many mosquitoes doe…

Luke chided Han for blaming Chewbacca when everyone got caught in the tree net on the forest moon of Endor. But let's be honest: it *was* a Wookie mistake.

I recently found an audio bible narrated by James Earl Jones Overall it was good, though the book of Luke seemed a bit forced

[Conspiracy Theory] The second Darth Vader slashed off Luke Skywalker's hand, Luke became... ...Hand Solo.

Be kind, I was like thirteen when I came up with this. So.... how did the skywalker kids get their names???? When Padame was giving birth Anakin stormed into the delivery room and shouted ""Luke what happens when I Leia!"" Budum'tsss.

What do you call it when a Jedi doesn't heat something up fully? Luke warm

In a Chinese restaurant far, far away... Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master. Anyway, poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself. Obi-Wan looks at Luke disappr…

Windows frozen Early one winter morning, as James entered his office block, he checked his phone and saw he had a text message from his wife. Windows frozen. Not sure what to do. He lets out a sigh that yet again, his wife was beautiful but with very little brains. James then texts back to pour some luke warm water over it slowly. He receives a further text from his wife. Computer really buggered now...

Since role reversal is so popular in Hollywood right now with female Ghostbusters, Star Wars' Rey as the new Luke, a potential black or female James Bond, Disney will remake another classic with role reversal. Snow White and the 7 Little Girls. Where Snow White is an old guy whose head of hair is ""snow white"". Rumor is that Bill Clinton will be playing the lead.

What did Luke say at Han and Leia's wedding? May divorce be with you

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah. Suddenly, part of the ledge in front of them falls off. ""Oh no, what do we do, master?"" asked Luke. ""Worry not"" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out a giant 6-foot fork, lays it across the gap in the ledge, and they use it as a bridge. Soon enough, they come to a large iron fence surrounding Yoda's hovel. ""Oh no, what do we do now, master?"" asked Luke. ""Worry not"" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out his giant fork and bends a hole in the fence large enough for the…

What is the internal tmperature of a taun-taun Luke warm

What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday? I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents

Compare to what Luke and Anakin had lost, Leia is considered lucky At least she still has the D

I went for sushi with Luke Skywalker and he was struggling with chopsticks... ""Use the fork, Luke!"" I said.

What would Anakin Skywalker's sith name be, if Luke was black? Dearth Vader

Luke, tell us... ""Luke, tell us how defeated the bad guys!"" ""Well, I single handedly..."" ""No shit. How else would you have done it?"" Not my joke. I heard it while my wife was browsing vine. I thought it was worth a share.