Chinese Restaurant Jokes

*after 7 hours in a Chinese restaurant* Me to waiter: "Actually, do you think I could have a fork?"

Even the most racially sensitive person you know gets a little skeptical when the chef at a Chinese restaurant isn't Asian

Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask "What kind of meat is that?" and they answer "yes"

[first date at a chinese restaurant] "So are you more of a dog or a cat person?" *reading menu* I was thinking orange chicken but you do you

Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant.

[at Chinese restaurant] "Hi I'll have a large goingon" -What is goingon? "Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"

If my 3YO's fortune was "you will eat the paper inside the cookie and then cry about it for 2 hrs," this Chinese restaurant is VERY accurate

Idea: a Chinese restaurant called You Dim Sum You Lose Some.

I took my family out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. My wife and I had chow mein and my daughter built 3 iPhones

Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant.

I was at a Chinese restaurant... when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.

Some guy calls a Chinese restaurant And asks the person on the phone, Caller: ""Hello, is Mr.Wing there?"" Chinese man:""No, he is not."" Caller: ""Is Mr.Wong there?"" Chinese man:""So sorry he is not here sir."" Caller: ""Well then, I must've winged the wong number.""

Stoli with a Twist A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. ""Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?"", he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The man replies, ""Give me a Stoli with a twist."" The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, ""Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . ""

In a Chinese restaurant far, far away... Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master. Anyway, poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself. Obi-Wan looks at Luke disappr…

Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant... Told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction

I was passing a Chinese restaurant the other day on my way home... And thought ""when in Rome"" so I got general tso's

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, ""Use the forks, Luke.""

Me and my Italian friend are opening a Chinese restaurant... It's called 2 Dum Wops

Jewish dietary law... Pork and shellfish may be eaten only in a good Chinese restaurant.

The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu. It's Secret Asian Flan

I went to a Chinese restaurant the other day.... When my food arrived I was shocked to find an eye in the noodles looking straight at me! I called the waiter over right away who said ""what's wrong sir?"" I said ""there's an eye in my food!"" ""yes sir, that's the peking duck""

I went for a meal at my local Chinese restaurant ""Mysterious Ways"" yesterday... ...I don't even like Chinese food but I thought I'd check it out because people keep telling me that God works there.

White lady asks for condiment at a Chinese restaurant White lady's eating at a Chinese restaurant. Waiter goes up and asks if she needs anything else. She goes, ""Mayo."" He looks impressed then leaves. A few minutes later, she waves at him as he's passing by and repeats, ""Mayo."" He looks confused then leaves. Finally she waves him over and goes, ""Mayo!"" Waiter stares at her for a second and goes, [""Yes, we're all very proud that you've learned Chinese but can you give it a rest already?"" …

At first I thought the Chinese restaurant canceled my reservation... But then I realized I went to the Wong one.

An Odd Dish at a Chinese Restaurant... A lovely older couple were dining at a local Chinese restaurant. Their orders have just been set in front of them. The woman appears to have ordered some sort of noodle dish, and the man has ordered a meal that is presented in a covered pot. As the man goes to open the pot, the pot lid opens a bit, and something looks out at him and makes a noise. The man feels his heart medication must be giving him hallucinations, so he attempts to open the pot again. Aga…