Chinese Restaurant Jokes

After the news today, I went to a Chinese restaurant and made a special order... Kung Pao.

Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner... .... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2 ""Oh I'm definitely ordering that!"" Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes. Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the chopsticks laid out on the table and digs straight in... sure enough it's as delicious as he hoped. But not being a chopstick pro, Luke ha…

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant. He tells the waiter, ""I am starving, and I need tons of food. What ya got?"" The waiter replies, ""oh sir we have tons! We have orange chicken, jumbo shrimp, egg rolls, and Dim sum!"" ...dim sum... din sum... den sum... IT'S FUNNY!

The Student Special Okay, so my friend and I went into a Chinese restaurant for lunch. They have student specials labled as K1, K2, K3, and K4. He walks up and asks for a K9.

a man walks in to a Chinese restaurant He was asked to wait at the bar until a table was available. The bartender asked ""what would you like?"" The man answered, ""I'd like a Stoli with a twist."" The bartender paused for a moment then said "" Once upon a time, there were three little pigs....""

Chinese takeout My wife has been angry at me all night for bringing her six bowls of soup back from the local Chinese restaurant. I don't know what her deal is, she very clearly asked for wanton soup.

If I owned a Chinese restaurant, I'd install dimmer lights in the bathroom. Should anyone dim the lights, I'd have a song play. When the Lights Go Down in the Shitty

My Future I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant.

A Muslim man went to China... And goes to a nearby Chinese restaurant. He orders his food and, being the faithful Muslim man he is, he wants to make sure that his food isn't pork. He asks the waiter ""Is this pork?"" but the waiter doesn't know any English. So instead he points at his food and says ""Oink?"" The waiter quickly shakes his head and says ""No, no, meow""

Did you hear about the guy who smashed up a Chinese restaurant? They put him in jail for wonton destruction.

I got arrested for breaking into the Chinese restaurant. Don't worry, my attorney said that I'll probably wok.

Today I saw a 'missing dog' post on the entrance door of a ... ... chinese restaurant.

Yoshi and Mario ride into a chinese restaurant... Mario orders a #3. The waiter turns toward the mysterious creature. ""And you?"" Yoshi responds ""frit-pyoo. fripita-prit-pyoo."" Mario chimes in to help him out. ""Yoshi will have the egg drop soup.""

Sound alike but different meaning. A non English speaking waiter in a Chinese restaurant was about to pour another cup of tea for an English diner when he turned around to say ""No thanks."". The waiter replied, ""Shenme? (""What?"" in Chinese) which sounded like ""Some more"" to the Englishman. Englishman: Sorry, I didn't make it clear to you. I don't need any more tea Waiter: Shenme? Englishman: I said I did want any more tea. Why are you asking me whether I want some more?"". Waiter: Shenme? …

Chinese restaurant A man goes to a restaurant and without letting the waitress give him the menu says ""I want a Medium Rare Ribeye steak with Roasted Potatoes in Marinara sauce."" The waitress timidly responds ""Sir. This is a Chinese restaurant."" To which the man replies ""Oh! I'm sorry. I want a Medium Lale Libeye steak with Loasted Potatoes in Malinala Sauce.""

Orange slices True story. I had gone out to dinner with my wife and her family at a Chinese restaurant. At the end of the meal, the waiter brought us a tray of fortune cookies and orange slices. I offered an orange slice to my wife, who said she doesn't eat oranges because they are acidic. So I ate the orange instead, thought for a second, and told her, ""I think you can eat these. They aren't acidic. They're just Orthodox.""

Did you hear about the guy who burnt down the Chinese restaurant? He was charged with won ton destruction ^^*cue* ^^*groan*

A guy picks up a waitress at a Chinese restaurant... A guy picks up an innocent, young waitress at a Chinese restaurant and after a night out gets her back to his place. After some fooling around he's ready for action and says, ""How's about a little sixty-nine?"" to which she replies, ""You want broccoli with beef?!""

We were having a less than satisfactory meal at a Chinese restaurant, I called the waiter over and told him to tell the chef that the chicken was rubbery. He returned shortly and with a big smile said ""chef say thank you.""

A Visit to the Hospital (can be told long or short) A religious man walks into a hospital hoping to do a good deed by visiting the sick. The man has passed the nurse at the front desk and is looking around to find a sick person to cheer up. He looks all over the hospital but he just cant seem to find any sick person that isn't being visited! Finally the man comes to the end of a large hallway and sees a Chinese man laying in bed, hooked up to what seems to be thousands of wires, leads, and tubes…

I ordered the special at a gay Chinese restaurant... The first course was the cream of summ yun gai

The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again.

I went to a Chinese restaurant last night. I said ""Waiter, this beef is rubbery"" He said ""Thank you, I'm grad you rike it""

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise', the waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. 'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around be…

Chuck Norris walked in a chinese restaurant and asked for Chicken Parmesan with Bruschetta bread...and got it.