A Visit to the Hospital (can be told long or short) A religious man walks into a hospital hoping to do a good deed by visiting the sick. The man has passed the nurse at the front desk and is looking around to find a sick person to cheer up. He looks all over the hospital but he just cant seem to find any sick person that isn't being visited! Finally the man comes to the end of a large hallway and sees a Chinese man laying in bed, hooked up to what seems to be thousands of wires, leads, and tubes, sitting all alone in his room watching TV. The man comes over to his bedside and begins to speak to the man. He is midway through his sentence when the man utters something in Chinese. ""Ong Ching Pung"" says the man in a calm tone. The visitor, who has never spoken a word of Chinese asks the man to clarify. ""I'm sorry what? ""Ong Ching Pung!"" says the man a little louder this time. The visitor begins to panic as the Chinese man is now screaming and pleading with the same sentence over and over: ""ONG CHING PUNG!!! ONG CHING PUNG!"" ""WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!"" says the man. The Chinese man slumps over, as the various monitoring devices behind him begin to flash and ring, a team of doctors rushes in. The visitor leaves the hospital feeling horrible. Later that night he is eating in a Chinese restaurant, feeling terrible about the scene that had happened, just hours ago in the hospital. His waiter walks over to fill his water glass. ""Pardon me,"" says the man to the waiter ""But I was wondering if you speak any Chinese?"" The waiter says ""Yes, I grew up in China!"". ""I was wondering if you know what the phrase 'ong ching pung' means?"" The waiter looks at him in a puzzled manner. ""ong ching pung?"" He thinks for a moment. ""It means don't stand on my oxygen tube.""