Hell Jokes

"WHAT THE HELL? WHERE'S THE OTHER, SMALLER VERSION OF THIS PERSON?"--Russian surgeon's 1st time cutting a patient open

*goku flies into the sunset* not knowing how the sun and earth really work he says "WHAT THE HELL WHERE'S THAT SUNSET BEEN FLYING FOR DAYS"

How's school, Hannah? "Really tough, dad." They're calling you Hannah Banana, aren't they? "No-" WHY THE HELL NOT

Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing

Leia: I love you. Han: I know. [gets frozen in carbonite] [two years pass] [gets unfrozen] Leia: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN "I KNOW?!"

ME: Sorry boss, I can't make it in today. Because of Ebola. BOSS: You have Ebola? ME: No but someone does and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT

1. Take dozens of pictures of yourself sleeping. 2. Put them in coworker's drawer. 3. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!"

Oh man almost forgot the trash *takes trash out, a nice little sushi place* This is great *sees wife there with the recycling* WHAT THE HELL

Seriously, if you hacked Trump's account and wanted to make him look bad, WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN TWEET.

{Date} ME: I have to warn you, I'm the jealous type WAITER: What would you folks like? HER: I'll have the s- ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!?

NO, YOU GET THE HELL OFF YOUR PROPERTY.

Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say "What's up, Chad?" & he'll be all "Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"

HEY GUYS I'M AT NXNE! WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?

1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"

Frank get's hit by a bus... Frank get's hit by a bus. He goes to heaven and meets St. Peter at the gate. He says to Peter: 'I know I'm dead, but I want to see my wife and children one last time!' Peter says:'Okay, but I can't send you back as a human, you'll have to go back as a spider. Also you have to go down from right here at the gates of heaven by your own spun thread.' Because Frank really wanted to see his wife and children again he aggrees and is transformed in a spider. He start to spin…

The distance between heaven and hell... New research shows that the distance between heaven and hell is closer than we previous thought. It only takes 3 cm in the wrong direction for a woman to go ""Oh my God!"" to ""WHAT THE HELL!""

Running a red light A guy's driving a friend of his around, and he comes up to a red light, and just shoots straight through it. The guy goes ""WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"" The driver says, ""Relax, it's fine, I'm just running a red light, my brother does it all the time."" They turn a corner and come to a set of traffic lights. This time they're green. The driver pulls up and stops. The friend goes ""What are you doing now? The ligts are green!"" The driver goes ""My brother might be coming.…

3 Brothers immigrate to America and open a convenience store. Each of them can only speak 1 sentence of English. The eldest can only say ""Maybe, maybe not."" The second can say only ""One dollar-fifty."" The youngest, ""If you don't, somebody else will!"" A customer walks into the store, and takes a magazine from the display rack to the counter and asks ""is this for sale?"" The first brother replies ""maybe, maybe not."" Annoyed, he tries phrasing it differently; ""can I buy this or not?"" The…

Blind man and a dog walk into a bar A blind man and his service animal walk into a bar, the man grabs the dog by its tail and begins swinging it around in a wide circle. The bartender, appalled by this display of animal cruelty says ""What the HELL do you think you're doing mister?"". The blind man replies ""Just having a look around.""

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell. As punishment for his many sins, the Devil shoved him into a room and proceeded to crank up the heat and humidity. But the man just smiled and said, ""Oh, this is just like Chicago in the Spring."" So, the Devil cranked up the heat and humidity even more, but the man just took off his coat, smiled again, and said, ""Well, this is just like Chicago in the summer."" Getting angry now, the Devil put the heat and humidity to the highest possib…

[Long] Two best friends reunite... Dan, a former alcoholic gets a random call from his best friend from college, Bobby. ""Dan, I'm in town! We haven't seen each other in a minute. Meet me at the bar in an hour."" Dan tells his wife he is going to meet Bobby, and is warned not to drink any alcohol because of their previous relationship problems involving his alcoholism. Bobby and Dan hit it off like old times. They begin slamming shots, shooting pool and partying as hard as they did in college. I…

So a man goes to see his doctor... A man goes to see his doctor, and says, ""Doc, I want to live to be 100 years old. I'd like you to tell me what my chances are."" The doc says, ""Alrighty. Let's start with some basic questions. Do you drink?"" ""No,"" the man says, ""never touched a drop in my life."" ""Well,"" says the doctor, ""do you smoke?"" ""I've never had so much as a puff of anything, ever!"" replies the man. ""Do you ever mess about with women?"" the doc enquires. ""No, sir, I like to…

An American, a British and a German walks into a busy bar... bartender says,"" GET THE HELL OUT, I GOT NO TIME FOR JOKES'.

A kid goes to a party... A kid goes to party... When he arrives, he is immediately stopped at the front door by a large group of people who, like him, are all trying to get inside. He can hear the music so he waits, thinking the party just started. Well, ten minutes go by and nothing really changes. Everyone seems to be standing in the same place. Now frustrated, he leaves and attempts to sneak in through the backdoor, but yet again... there is another damn crowd of kids blocking the doorway. An…

St.Peter Special Offer One day while walking down the street a highly successful person was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Gates of Heaven by St. Peter himself. ""Welcome to Heaven,"" said St. Peter. ""Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had someone like you make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."" ""No problem, just let me in"" said the wom…