Mario Jokes

to my beautiful son i leave a wealth of valuable golden coins, sprinkled throughout super mario 3d world, redeemable for extra in-game lives

Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn't be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn't waste thousands of them in the '80s throwing them at Mario.

I didn't get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me

I don't play mario kart with my brother anymore. Because we are both in our 20's & my mom is not there to split us up when we fight.

[dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*

After my sixth cup of coffee, I feel like Mario after he gets one of those bouncing, flashing stars.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7 They go after the guy who has killed 1000s of turtles The Ninja Turtles corner him Mario jumps on them all

when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height

It's 4AM and I roll out of bed. My eyes bloodshot. I haven't slept in weeks. What the hell holds up those blocks in Mario?

I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs.

"Congratulations, the baby's got green overalls!" Peach sobs. Mario flies into a rage.

Princess: U alone? Luigi: Ya. Mario lookin 4 u underwater. P: lol. wut? L: ya idk. meet up? P: sure. go-karts L: k i'll bring bananas

Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle

It would be way cooler if whenever you punched a kid, a bunch of coins came out of them like in Mario. But ya, I'm free to babysit tonight.

Guys, they lied to us. Peach was never in any real danger and Mario and Bowser are buddies. I saw all of them hanging out and go-karting.

How about a game where Mario gets a job and gets his coins like the rest of us.

Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend :)

It's never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she's on a whole other level.

I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of

Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law.

So apparently not every chubby guy with a mustache is named Mario. My bad, dad.

When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.

Poor Luigi when his parents were all, "This is Mario, we also call him 'Super Mario'. And this Luigi, we also call him 'Player 2'.

Mario and Luigi fight to the death, in "The Plunger Games".

For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day.