when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height

I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs.

Princess: U alone? Luigi: Ya. Mario lookin 4 u underwater. P: lol. wut? L: ya idk. meet up? P: sure. go-karts L: k i'll bring bananas

Mario and Luigi fight to the death, in "The Plunger Games".