After my sixth cup of coffee, I feel like Mario after he gets one of those bouncing, flashing stars.

when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height

"Congratulations, the baby's got green overalls!" Peach sobs. Mario flies into a rage.

Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle