*after 7 hours in a Chinese restaurant* Me to waiter: "Actually, do you think I could have a fork?"

Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask "What kind of meat is that?" and they answer "yes"

[first date at a chinese restaurant] "So are you more of a dog or a cat person?" *reading menu* I was thinking orange chicken but you do you

Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant.