Shoe store employee on phone w/ wife: "Yea honey I should be home just in time for dinner" *centipede walks in* "You've got to be kiddin me"

Kim Jong Un wakes up after a drinking binge. He walks around his office, but sees no one. He explores his building, but can't find anyone. He peers out of the window, and the streets of Pyongyang are completely empty. His phone rings. Hurriedly he lifts it, hoping to get an explanation. His wife was on the other end of the line. *""Glorious husband! Last night you had too much Soju and opened our borders.""* *""Shit! Are the two of us the only people left?""* *""Actually... I'm calling from Seou…

A wife texts her husband on a cold winters morning... ""Windows frozen"" ...... Husband texts back, ""Pour some luke warm water over it""...... Wife replies, ""Computer completely stuffed now""

A man shows up at a barber shop an after after closing. One time this guy showed up an hour after closing. I had just finished clearing out the register and I was getting ready to leave. I had taken a moment to arrange the combs by order of size. I'm just weird about little things such as that. I heard a gentle tapping at the door. I glanced up. I saw this distraught man with this long golden blonde hair staring back at me. I approached the door cautiously. I kindly let the man know the barber s…