A man is sitting in a bar staring at his drink, when another man comes along and drinks it up. ""Come on man, cheer up. Here, I'll buy you another drink."" The first man replies ""No, I've just had a really bad day today. First I woke up late because the power went off in my house so my alarm didn't go off, so I quickly rush to work badly dressed and without eating breakfast. My boss is furious because I missed an important business meeting, so he fires me. I walk back outside to the parking lot…

It's my cake day, so one of my favorite jokes ... A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!" "I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost. "Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars." The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" he says. "It was the lady up the street," says the boy.…

Proof A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. ""I will have to go home and come back later."" The woman says, ""Unbutton your shirt."" So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, ""That silver hair…

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City... A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan…