A math teacher went to school drunk... He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson? Don't drink and derive

Phantom energy So, our science teacher was teaching us about phantom energy. At one point of the lesson, he puts his phone on the counter and says; ""If I leave my phone here it will eventually die."" After a little pause I hear another student whisper and say; ""Same with children"".

A lesson at a Soviet school During a political lesson at a Soviet school the teacher asks her class, ""Children, do you see God?"" ""No"" reply the pupils in unison. ""Good"" says the teacher, ""that means there is no God"" Vovochka yells from the back of the class, ""And can you see Mariya Ivanovna's brain? ""No"" reply the pupils ""Well, that sure as hell doesn't mean it's not there""

Nasty African Joke: The virtues of paying attention to details: First year University of Kenyatta medical students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The Professor, Mwangi started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, ""The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body."" For example, he inserted his FINGER in the dead body's ANUS & put the finger in his own mout…