Saudi Arabia Jokes

Look ma, no hands. I was caught shoplifting in Saudi Arabia :(

Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game.... Reasons are: 1. Queen doesn't wear a burkha. 2. Queen roams freely wherever she wants to. 3. Queen is more powerful than the King. 4. Queen goes alone to opponent's territory. 5. And....Most importantly, there's only one Queen

A Frenchman, A German and An Englishman are caught smuggling booze in Saudi Arabia! They are all ordered to be whipped and will receive 30 whips each, they ask the Frenchman what he would like on his back while he is whipped and he replies "" A cushion"" . After about 15 whips the cushion comes apart and the Frenchman is left screaming with a red back. Then they as the German what he wants on his back, he replies "" Nothing !"" he takes all 30 whips and does not make a sound. Next they ask the E…

Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site. An IHOP: International House of Pancakes.

Saudi Arabia refuses to even consider allowing women to drive ""safety on the road is our first priority"" said the King spokesman in a recent press conference

Bob Marley in Saudi Arabia I Shot The Sharif

My gay friend got stoned today. I told him Saudi Arabia was not a good honeymoon destination but he didn't listen.

9/11 jokes are hurtful to me. My dad died that day The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia. Sniff.

The weather in Saudi Arabia is pretty simple It's either sunni or shiite

A big earthquake hits the Middle East.. A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 strikes the Middle East, Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured, Iraq, Syria, and even parts of Iran are completely in rubble and don't know where to start with the rebuilding process. Also in shock, the rest of the world begins sending relief and supplies, Britain is sending in troops to keep the peace, Saudi Arabia, not as impacted, is sending oil and monetary assistance, Latin American countries …

I drank a pint of beer in Saudi Arabia the other day... ... It cost me an arm and a leg.

The Nun And The Camel A nun is invited to Saudi Arabia on an interfaith exchange program. After being shown around, she asks to see where the camels are raised. Her guide - a devout Muslim says, ""Oh no, Sister, I cannot do this. Today we geld the male camels and this is entirely inappropriate for a woman to see, let alone a woman of God."" She laughs, and says, ""I was raised on a ranch in Montana, I have seen this many times. I assure you, I will take no offense"", and off they go. She watches…

If Apple Saudi Arabia made a Wrestling Game, it would be called... iSlam.

Please don't joke about 9/11, my uncle was on one of the planes. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia? Shia Labeouf

An Australian, an American and a New Zealander are enjoying some beer in Saudi Arabia. ...even though it is against the law to drink alcohol there. They are captured by the Sheik and are sentenced to death, until his wife runs up to him and whispers something in his ear. She glances to the New Zealander, and whispers some more. The sheik steps forward and announces: ""Because it is my wife's birthday today, she has asked that I spare your lives, on the following terms. You will each get 20 lashe…

I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast It's mostly Sunni

What happens on 420 in Saudi Arabia A lot of people get stoned

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East . Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured. Iraq, Kuwait, UAE, Saudi Arabia and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace. Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance. Latin American countries are sending clothing. New Zealand and Australia are se…

After Iran and Saudi Arabia cut ties Iranians stopped praying towards Mecca ... all their prayers are going to go to Spam anyway

Capital Reward Stoners get stoned in Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia 900 women thinking they can run for office and win. Ha

Saudi Arabia about the paris attacks- Lol Saudi Arabia: The ""heinous"" Paris attacks are a violation of all religions and underline the need to intensify efforts against ""terrorism,"" Saudi Arabia's foreign minister said Saturday. ""I wanted to express our condolences to the government and people of France for the heinous terrorist attacks that took place yesterday which are in violation and contravention of all ethics, morals and religions,"" Adel al-Jubeir told reporters in Vienna. ""The kin…

Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times? Because they live under Iraq.