Paris Jokes

Jokes

An old WWII veteran was speaking with his grandson and extolling the virtues of being reckless and enjoying life while young. ""When I was your age, I went to Paris with some lads and we had a great time! We had our way with any French women we wanted, pissed on the Eifel tower, and beat the shit out of every Frog that crossed our paths! You have to live it up while you're young!"" So the grandson got some buddies and went to Paris. After thoroughly getting the shit beat out of them for picking …

#Paris #Eifel Tower #Animals #School+2 more

A mime is performing an act in Paris An Englishman, Frenchman, Spanish man, and German man are watching the mime perform. The mime notices that they cannot see him very well. He places a box down and signals to the audience if they can see him. ""Yes"" ""Oui"" ""Si"" ""Ja""

#Paris

I'm no Dean Martin. I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris"". He said ''Eurostar?'' I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''.

#Dean Martin #Paris #Driving

What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris? Free Shots

#Paris #One-Liner

Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees? The Germans like shade

#Paris #One-Liner

Paris Jackson just got a tattoo in honour of her father... It's bad.

#Jackson #Paris #Parents #One-Liner

You like parachuting? That's messed up... you like the Paris Shooting!?

#Paris #One-Liner

Why did France run out of painkillers? because Paris ate 'em all

#France #Paris #One-Liner

While Bill is on a trip to Paris, Hillary visits Monica at her private home. Hillary gets invited into the house, then all of a sudden she becomes furious when she smells Bill inside the house. She says, ""It's 2016! What's Bill doing there?"" Monica replies, ""Relax, he's not here. I just burped"".

#Hillary #Monica #Paris

Long but worth it After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop …

#First Monk #Paris #Notre Dame #Money+2 more

Whom you like most! Mother or Father A father asked a kid. Whom you like most, Me or your mother? The kid replies ""both"" Father: Chose one Kid: again said both now father chooses another strategy Father: If your mother goes to Paris and I go to America then where you'll prefer to go Kid: Paris Father: ah here you go, so it means you like your mother over me Kid: No it's not like that but Paris is just so beautiful Fther: Changes the question hmm alright. If I go to Paris and your mother goes t…

#Paris #America #Kids #Parents

The Jew's Mistress A wealthy Jewish husband and his wife were having dinner at an upscale restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, ""Who the hell was that?"" ""Oh,"" replies the husband, ""she's my mistress."" ""Well, that's the last straw,"" says the wife. ""I've had enough, I want a divorce!"" ""I can understand that,"" replie…

#George #Paris #Barbados #Tuscany+4 more

Breaking News: French police capture notorious baguette bandit! The suspect was arrested for mugging tourists in the streets of Paris with a stale baguette. He's being charged for assault with a breadly weapon.

#Paris #French #Police

A joke my mother told me. A groundskeeper in France was sweeping the driveway to an apartment building in Paris. *Sweep* *Sweep*. *Sweep Sweep*. So it went for about an hour, with regularity. *Sweep Sweep*. *Sweep Sweep*. Suddenly he came to a spot with a very annoying patch of dirt. In an attempt to get it off he began to use more force and speed. *Sweepsweepsweepsweepsweepsweep* Suddenly above him he hears a window slide open, and a man sticks his head out and shouts: ""Monsieur, you're messin…

#France #Paris #Parents

What do you call the slums in Paris? The baghetto

#Paris #One-Liner

When the Paris attacks occured, did anyone think to call Ja Rule for some answers?

#Paris #One-Liner

Need more Paris attack jokes I've looked all over and I can't really find any good funny jokes that can piss off all the sensitive butt hurt faggots in the world. If anybody reads this and has a good one, feel free to share!

#Paris

Back in Homer's time it was thought that ingesting small burrowing mammals would cure you of any injury. When the prince of Troy was shot with an arrow the doctor prescribed Paris eat a mole.

#Homers #Troy #Paris #Doctor

Why does Paris have the best theaters? The audience is always dead quiet.... Looks like i'm going to hell.

#Paris #Religion #Dark Humor #One-Liner

Paris Jokes I have had these jokes since the beginning of the Paris attacks Why are the French so bright? Because they were lit up Some French people wondered what was the thing headed strait for them then it hit them Looks like they had a blast Man these French people are everywhere now When I heard about the Paris attacks I was blown away The pope is going to visit France as the people are now holey

#Paris #France

With all the negative news lately ...about the Paris attacks, ISIS and the Syrians taking over the world there is one thing that is positive and that's Charlie Sheen.

#Charlie Sheen #Paris

You have to remember to be sensitive with jokes about the events in Paris. One mean joke and the reaction could be Explosive

#Paris

Hottest fabric on ramps in Paris this season: Kevlar...

#Paris #One-Liner

I just got back from Paris It was a blast.

#Paris #One-Liner

I went into Paris to eat some Snails... and ended up with a belly full of Slugs

#Paris #One-Liner