Jackson Jokes

If your bathroom mirror doesn't look like a Jackson Pollock painting, you're not flossing right.

Considerate. *An old silly one...but a grin inducer nevertheless* Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said ""I've found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13,Halls Rd, Jackson, TN."" To which the radio jockey says "" Oh how honest. So you want his wallet returned back to him?"" Mr. Fieinstein says ""No....... I just wanted you to play a sad song for him"".

No one beats the Jackson 5! Except their father.

Why American Names Are Like ""Jackson, Wilson, Markson..... Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davidson, Jemson, Johnson"" Because This Is The Easy Way For Mom To Remember Who Is Whose Son.

All day people keep mentioning the new 20 dollar bills I check my wallet everytime somebody mentions it and mine are all still Jackson.

Paris Jackson just got a tattoo in honour of her father... It's bad.

I have something of a love/hate relationship with Christmas music on the radio. I say that because unfortunately, it's the only time of the year when radio stations will play Sinatra or the Jackson 5 on a regular basis. Fortunately, it means that for the rest of the year, I don't have to listen to Johnny Mathis.

Jackson Pollock - great painter piss poor pictionary partner

A girl and her sniper rifle. I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot. Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic, old-time sniper from back in the WWII era. Beautiful old thing. She learned to fire it at age 12, could hit targets at 100 meters by age 15. She ended up entering some sharpshooting …

Jesse Jackson helps former reddit employee get her job back. Jesse Jackson has made a career of helping people who have unjustly been fired or otherwise denied a job get a job. When a popular reddit employee lost her job shortly after his AMA, he marched over to reddit headquarters and insisted she be rehired. ""At first I did not recognize him without his race card"" said Reddit CEO Ellen Pao, ""but I heard him out and let Victoria get her job back."" ""I have nobody but myself to blame,"" said…

Why should you name your son Jackson? Because naming him Jacksoff would be embarrassing.

Who am I? * My father's name is Joseph. * I have done many things to make my father happy. * I am well known throughout the entire world and I am a common household name. * There is a walk I am very famous for. * Although I have siblings, many people are not familiar with them. * I am regarded by many people around the world as a king. * I have been accused of crimes that were not mine. * I have suffered scars due to the actions of others. * A woman named Mary loved me years before my death. * I…

How well did Jackson Pollock do in art class? He passed it with flying colors. /heyo

In the Navy. The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?" "John," the new seaman replied. "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are …

What’s Your Name, Sailor? What’s Your Name, Sailor? The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?” “John,” the new seaman replied. “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, …

What’s Your Name, Sailor? The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, \-“Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?” \- “John,” the new seaman replied. \- “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, …

I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall.

How well did Jackson Pollock do in art class? He passed it with flying colors.

When it comes to music..... Nobody beats The Jackson 5. Except for their dad. That guy beat the shit out of those kids.

What's the difference between Santa Claus & Michael Jackson? one comes when children dream & the other dreams of children coming*.

How does Michael Jackson Beat It? With the Jackson Five

How much is the jackson five worth? 100 dollars

What does George Bush Jr and Michael Jackson have in common? Bush did 9/11 and Jackson did 9 11 year-olds.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi were playing poker when the police raided the game. Addressing the priest, the lead officer said: "Father O'Reilly, were you gambling?" Turning his eyes to Heaven, the priest whispered: "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." And then he told the policeman firmly: "No, officer, I was not gambling." The officer then asked the minister: "Pastor Jackson, were you gambling?" The minister whispered an apology to God before answering: "No, officer, I was not gamb…

A man was giving evidence in a courtroom and was asked by the Judge, “Mr. Jackson, didn't you have a very fancy honeymoon recently?” “Indeed I did, Sir” I replied, “I went to the Caribbean.” “Who went with you!?” asked the Judge.