Jacksons Jokes

Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad.

Samuel L Jackson's kids were so lucky to have him yelling at them their whole childhood.

Michael Jackson's last words ""Take me to the children's hospital.""

On a scale of 1-10 How old was Michael Jackson's boyfriend?

Buying Brains This joke takes place in the very distant future, so distant that shops exist where ordinary people can walk in and buy the brains of famous people from the past. Three guys walk into one such shop and begin to look around. The first guy spots Michael Jackson's brain on the shelf, so he asks the cashier ""Hey, I see Michael Jackson's brain up here. How much do you want for it?"" The cashier says ""How about 25 thousand?"" The guy pays accordingly and walks out with Michael Jackson'…

How do you tell Michael Jackson's age? You put a color scale next to his face.

Michael Jackson's latest autopsy report states that he didn't actually die at home. He died in the hospital - he was found in the children's ward having a stroke.

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith. - http://ww.key-n-lock.com

Did you hear about Michael Jackson's new album? It's called Invincible! *Sent using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6*

A girl and her sniper rifle. I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot. Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic, old-time sniper from back in the WWII era. Beautiful old thing. She learned to fire it at age 12, could hit targets at 100 meters by age 15. She ended up entering some sharpshooting …

When is it time to go to bed at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words... Cool Runnings.

On the day of Michael Jackson's death The two paramedics arrive at Neverland Ranch to find Michael unconscious and not breathing. The rookie says to the veteran ""What should we try first?"" ""I reckon the roller coaster.""

That was Samuel Jackson's first ever public appearance without saying ""mother$ucker""

Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face.

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which…

Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !!

Michael Jackson Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela are in an airplane with 20 kids. The airplane gets a failure and is doomed to crash. The plane has only 20 parachutes. Nelson Mandela as a great humanitarian says that children should have them. Bill Clinton gets panicky and shouts ""SCREW THE CHILDREN!!"" Michael Jackson's face lights up and he shouts ""YES YES!! But do we have enough time?""

What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Teahee

What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/He

Don't know what touched me more as a child... Michael Jackson's music or Michael Jackson.

When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house? Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord? A-minor

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing about twenty-eight year olds? There's 20 of them.