Lincoln Jokes

Jokes

I have to mispronounce 'Lincoln' and 'cologne' if I want to spell them correctly.

I bet Lincoln is looking down like "dude, trust me, that is not a bad night in a theater"

what did president abe lincoln call his journal? ...his lincoln logs

#President Abe Lincoln #Lincoln #Politics #One-Liner

Lincoln was known for his signature look; stovepipe hat, chinstrap beard, fingerless driving gloves, Jordans, shirt with Ferrari logo on it

#Lincoln #Ferrari #Driving

We didn't have Legos when I was a kid. We had Lincoln Logs & we could build anything with them: big cabin, small cabin, you name the cabin.

#Lincoln #Logs And We #Kids

I wonder how long it took Lincoln to decide that just saying "87 years" wasn't nearly hip enough.

#Lincoln #One-Liner

INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon

#Lincoln #Roosevelt Room #Oval Office #Work

Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.

#Daniel #Lewis #Abraham Lincoln #Lincoln

[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL

#Lincoln #One-Liner

Lincoln should win for most likely DVD to be put on by substitute teachers

#Lincoln #One-Liner

The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like.

#Mitt Romney #Lincoln

Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year.

#Lincoln #Abe

"Any minute now. Any minute..." -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood

#Lincoln #Technology #One-Liner

Classic from Middle School George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman are riding together on an airplane. They get to talking about how they want to be remembered. Lincoln says ""I'd like to help the poor, so I'll throw a penny with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" He throws a penny out the plane window. Washington then says ""I, too, want to help the poor, but I want to give more, so I'll throw a quarter with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" Truman fina…

#George Washington #Abraham Lincoln #Harry Truman #Lincoln+4 more

Apparently Abraham Lincoln kept extremely detailed records of every single tree he cut down, detailing the type of tree, dimensions, even the location where it was cut, and more. They're called the Lincoln Logs.

#Abraham Lincoln #Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln? I hear he was a big shot. Sad, though. His downfall was letting it get to his head. Happened to say this in a conversation about Lincoln. Felt it was pretty funny so I just had to post it here!

#Abraham Lincoln #Lincoln

It was Donald Trump's first day in office, and he had no clue what to do... He decided to call upon the ghosts of previous great presidents to ask for their advice. ""What do I have to do to become a great president?"" Trump asked the ghost of George Washington. ""You must never tell a lie,"" Washington responded. Trump scoffed. ""No way! do you really expect me to do that? You're useless Washington."" The ghost vanished, only to be replaced by the spirit of Thomas Jefferson. ""What must I do to…

#Donald #President #George Washington #Thomas Jefferson+4 more

Forget Washington, Lincoln, JFK. Trump Is Simply Going To Be The Best President To Have Come in A Melania.

#Lincoln #Jfk #President #Washington+2 more

A new source of electricity is found! Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now. We can use that somehow.

#Lincoln #Dark Humor #One-Liner

Lincoln walks into a bar An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, ""Going to a party?"" ""Yeah, a costume party,"" the man answers, ""I'm supposed to come as my love life."" ""But you look like Abraham Lincoln,"" protests the bartender. ""That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago.""

#Lincoln #Abraham Lincoln #Bar

Who doesn't like lincoln logs john wilkes blocks

#Lincoln #One-Liner

Lincoln cars can't turn left. They're all right, all right, all riiiggghhht

#Lincoln #One-Liner

Which American president was not guilty? Lincoln, he was in a cent

#Lincoln #Politics #One-Liner

Abraham Lincoln wakes up one morning and sees that his neighbor's bushes are growing into Lincoln's property. Lincoln goes over to his neighbor and asks him why he let the bushes overgrow. The neighbor responds angrily, ""Well, I used to have someone who took care of that sort of thing, but then you took him away from me!""

#Abraham Lincoln #Lincolns #Lincoln

Matthew McMonaughey's Lincoln doesn't make left turns... It just goes all right, all right, all right.

#Matthew Mcmonaugheys #Lincoln #One-Liner