So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, "I will kill you in your sleep."

An American is visiting his friends in Paris... ...and he is having trouble understanding some of the French idioms. ""Specifically,"" he says, ""the French expression *sang froid*. I know it literally means 'cold blood', but when would you use it?"" The first Frenchman nods and says, ""It is when you walk into your bedroom and see your friend making love with your wife. If you simply close the door and leave, then you have *sang froid*."" ""*Non, non, non*,"" the second Frenchman exclaims. ""It…

Who's that woman with Jim? A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big french kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, ""Who the hell was that?"" ""Oh,"" replies the husband, ""she's my mistress."" ""Well, that's the last straw,"" says the wife. ""I've had enough. I want a divorce!"" I can understand that,"" replies her husband, ""b…

Mistress A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, ""Who in the hell was that?"" ""Oh,"" replies the husband, ""She's my mistress."" ""Well, that's the last straw,"" says the wife. ""I've had enough. I want a divorce!"" ""I can understand that,"" replies her husband, ""But rememb…