Teacher Jokes

Need the best Hillary I need the best Hillary Clinton joke there is. The worst the better. I need to tell my history teacher. Shes a Hillary supporter. Dirtier the better

Bob and Joe were sitting in their math class one day... Bob and Joe were sitting in their math class one day when their teacher suddenly shouts ""Pop quiz! If you don't answer this question correctly, then you will fail the class"" Both Bob and Joe are taken aback. The teacher turns to Joe, ""Joe! Quickly, how many seconds are there in six weeks?"" Joe takes a few seconds to think about it, and then with a smile on his face quickly exclaims, ""there are exactly 10!"" The teacher then turns to Bo…

I was in shop class in high school and my teacher had a nail, a bolt, and a screw in his hand... ... He asked us if we knew the difference between them. A girl raised her hand and said, ""Well, I've never been bolted.""

A Sunday School teacher is teaching her class about Hell. She asks the class, ""Do any of you know what happens to little boy and girls when they're bad?"" A child raises their hand as says, ""Oh yeah, Father Martin takes you into the bushes behind the church!"" The teacher is taken aback, and screams at the child. Another child stands up and says, ""No, it's true! Father Martin took my sister into the bushes behind the church the other day."" Gone white, the teacher asked what happened to her. …

little Johnny and Flingfly Little Johnny was only 9 years old and was walking to school one day when a teenager drives by and yells out the window ""FLINGFLY"".. Johnny is very confused so he continues to school and during class asks the teacher what ""Flingfly"" means.. The teacher gets VERY upset and tells Johnny to get down to the principle's office immediately.. Johnny crying goes down to the principle's office and when the principle comes to get him he is very considerate and asks why he wa…

My math teacher from highschool thought she was so smart and intelligent yet when I graduated, she was still in highschool.

A student was writing all his answers in ||||| format... Teacher: What are you doing? Student: I am writing all my answers in bar code, so that no one can copy it... New Method of Answer

Liberal Democrat A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. ""Because I'm not a liberal Democrat."" ""…

Two months ago my teacher asked me the name of the clothes indian women wear. Is it too late now to say ""sari""?

Teen Joke Teacher:"" What comes after 69?"" Student:"" Mouthwash."" Teacher:""Get out.""

The Pink Gorrilla This is the story of the pink gorilla. There's these two guys. They're both teachers, and they work at the same school. One is an Anthropology teacher. The other is a Historian. They are both given a sabbatical. For those of you who don't know, a sabbatical is a paid vacation for teachers. They are paid to take time off teaching, but they have to do research to better their knowledge, to better their teaching. Got it? Good. So, both teachers are given a sabbatical. And, they're…

Teacher , How can we keep the school clean Teacher: ""How can we keep the school clean?"" Student: ""By staying home""

teacher insulted due to over confidence. A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn't think anyone would stand up so she asked him, ""Why did you stand up?"" He answered, ""I didn't want to leave you standing up by yourself.""

Johnny after School with teacher Teacher: Johnny, when did WW1 start? Johnny: I don't know, ma'm. Teacher: Johnny, you need to pay more attention to your studies. Johnny: OK, but can I ask you a question ma'm? Teacher: Sure. of course you can. Johnny: Do you know David? Teacher: I'm afraid I don't. Johnny: You need to pay more attention to your husband.

If my teacher saw me staring at her from behind Then I was staring at her ass

English teacher asks me, ""What's an example of pleonasm? ""Troublesome Woman""

Teacher & Student Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809. John stand up and said ""Abraham Lincoln was born"" Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819 Then Sam suddenly stand up and said ""Abraham Lincoln was ten years old""!

We had to make sliders for an assignment in Culinary Arts The teacher told us we had to buy our own meat and bring it to school the next day, with one catch: It had to be 90% lean or more. So I show up the next day and make the sliders. After class he asked me to stay to talk to him. He informed me that I had bought 80% lean meat, but since i'm a good student and since he's pretty *lenient* at grading, he'll let it *slide* and give me an A-.

I am genuinely terrified of my Biology Professor I heard he has a lot of skeletons in his closet

Pie are Round!!!!!! After the math teacher told the class that the area of a circle is r2, the Kentucky mountain man said: ""Pie are not square! Pie are round! Cornbread are square!""

""Dad, did you ever fall in love with a teacher?"" ""Yes son , with the kindergarden teacher."" ""Then what happened?"" ""Well, your mom caught us and we had to send you to a new school.""

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade, he comes home crying... When his mother asks why, he replies, ""The teacher told us to say our ABC's and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to ""E"" why is that?"" Mom says, ""Cause you black and they white."" Next day Tyrone is crying again . ""What's wrong today Tyrone?"" His mother asks. Tyrone said, ""Teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did, but I could only get to 10. Why is that?"" Mom says, ""Cause …

Spelling Bee It's cup final day and three boys in the class want to go home early to watch the match. The teacher decides to hold a spelling bee and allow the boys who spell their words correctly to leave school for the day to see their team. Tommy, spell dog for me please. Easy sir, D-O-G. Very good Tommy, off you go. Martin, spell cat for me please. Simple, sir. C-A-T. Very good Martin, off you go, enjoy the game. Thank you sir! Ahmed I would like you to spell racial discrimination.

Penny was never the best Sunday school student. She was always falling asleep in class and getting into trouble. ""Penny,"" the Sunday school teacher asked, one dozing day. ""Who created the universe?"" When she didn't stir, Jimmy, who sat behind her, poked her in the rear with his pencil. ""God Almighty!"" shouted Penny, and the teacher said, ""Very good."" A while later the teacher asked ""Penny, who is our savior?"" But again Penny didn't stir from her slumber. Jimmy poked her again with his …