Teacher Jokes

Researchers found that students of a teacher who regularly took LSD lived extraordinarily long lives. It seems his pupils die late.

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: Ooh...ok!! STUDENT: Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the …

I had to write a Geography Essay.. We had to write about a topic, so I picked ""Kenya solve world hunger with charity?"". I wasn't quite sure if I had a good paper, so I asked Jordan and he helped me Czech my work. We only had a week to Finnish the paper, so I spent the night working, eating nothing but a spare Turkey leg. I was so Hungary. I handed in the paper and my teacher seemed happy. Edit: I got my paper back, the teacher thought it was good, I got Denmarks out of 15.

Two Guys Walk into a Bar The first one asks the bartender, ""Can I have H2O."" The second one then asks the bartender, ""Can I have H2O too."" The second guy died. My biology professor opened class with this one today.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train? Teacher says ""spit out that gum!"" But a train says ""choo! Choo!""

TIFU by walking into the class of the wrong substitute teacher Whoops, wrong sub.

How I got punched by my black friends I was in health class and the teacher was talking about how our legs grow longer as we get older. After class, I walked up to my black friends and asked them ""Did you know that your knee grows ?"". Out of nowhere he flipped out and called me racist and then punched me.

A professor and a thespian walk into a Martin Chalifour concert... 69696969696969696969 lololololololololol

Teacher: Tomorrow There Will Be a Lecture On SUN.. student: I Will Not Be Able To Attend It Teacher: Why? student: My Mother Will Not Allow Me To Go So Far..:-)

Teacher Said The Student..?? Teacher said the students to convert the sentence ""I killed a person"" into future tense. Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is ""u will go to jail""!

""making decisions"" Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? . Student: Well...yes and no.

A kid asks to go to the bathroom... A kid asks to go to the bathroom in school, the teacher says ""Okay, but you have to say your ABC's first!"" So he quickly says ""A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z"". She says ""Very good, but wheres the P?"" And he replies ""Running down my leg....""

A Drinking Problem! Math Teacher: ""If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"" Student: ""A drinking problem.""

There's five people on a plane... A doctor, a preacher, a lawyer, a young boy, and the pilot. The pilot comes on the intercom mid-flight screaming ""Mayday! Mayday! The plane is going to crash! Now listen up: there's only four parachutes on this plane and five of us, so you guys decide who's staying with the plane, but I'm jumping!"" And with that, the pilot grabs a parachute and leaves the doomed plane. The doctor comes before the other passengers of the plane and says ""As a doctor, I've used …

A girl comes home from school... She tells her mother, ""Mommy, today we started first grade and the teacher asked us to count to 20 and I counted to 100! Is it because I'm blonde?"" ""Yes dear it's because you're blonde"" says the mother happily. The girl comes home the next day and announces, ""Mommy, the teacher taught us the letter C and I could say until the letter Z! Is it because I'm blonde?"" ""Yes dear, it's because you're blonde"" the mother answers proudly. Thd next day the girl comes…

intelligent student Student would you punish me for some thing i did not do? Teacher no , of course not.Student good, because i did not do my homework.

Why did the music teacher get arrested So Doe Mi

My teacher asked me to turn in my essay. Pero no soy un rata.

Math Teacher: ""If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"" Student: ""A drinking problem.""

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us A lithium atom walked into a bar and said ""Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?"" The bar tender replied, ""No, are you sure you lost them?"" The lithium atom replied ""Yes I'm positive...""

Religion class One day in religion class the teacher asked the question ""what is God's sons name?"". Billy stabbed Sally with a thumb tack and sally jumped up and said ""Jesus!"". The teacher asked another question, ""who is the father?"" Billy stabbed sally again and Sally jumped up and said, ""God!"" The teacher asked another question, ""what did eve say to adam after they had their third baby?"" Sally jumped up and said, ""if you stick that thing in me again i will break it in half!""

If you are at school, and the urge to take drugs hits you... Speak to the supply teacher..

Johnny wants to go bathroom Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Teacher And Student Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

Teacher: Jimmy what is a shih tzu? Jimmy: Excuse me miss? Teacher: A shih tzu Jimmy, a shih tzu? Jimmy: A zoo with no animals miss.