Two Guys Walk into a Bar The first one asks the bartender, ""Can I have H2O."" The second one then asks the bartender, ""Can I have H2O too."" The second guy died. My biology professor opened class with this one today.

A physicist walks into a bar and he orders a beer and turns to the stool next to him and offers it a beer. He finishes his drink and then leaves. The next day he returns to the bar, orders a beer, and offers a beer to the stool next to him before finishing his drink and leaving. This continues on for a week before the bartender finally asks, "" Why in the world do you keep offering that stool a beer?"" The physicist replies "" The laws of physics dictate that there is a slight possibility that a…

College A professor tells the class that they will be performing an experiment the next day. When the students get to class, they see the professor with a large glass vase, some large rocks, some small pebbles, and some sand. The students all get seated, and the professor begins the experiment. He fills the vase with the rocks and says, ""How many of you says this is full?"" When half the class raises his hand, he nods, and then pours in the pebbles. ""Now how many of you says this is full?"" Wh…

A chemistry professor is giving his final exam... ... he says on the friday before the final, ""If you miss the final you have to have a great excuse for missing the final next monday."" Two students decide to study together all weekend so all friday night they study, all saturday morning and night they study, then they study all sunday morning and decide, ""We've been studing all that we can study, let's go out and relax for a while."" They drive 150 miles to the next town, they get drunk and p…