Teacher Jokes

Not joke Teacher :What is the difference man & woman ? Pupil :Sir, in overtime ,overdose & overhead ,man shouts and woman sobs

Joke of The Day A new Student came to the class. After telling the rest of the Children his name, the teacher asked, ""what does your Father do""? . . . . . . Student :"" Whatever Mom Says""

Student and teacher STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: Ooh...ok!! STUDENT: Let me ask another one. If all the …

The teacher asks, ""Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"" Flora blushes and says, ""That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question."" The teacher calls on Johnny: ""What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"" ""That's easy,"" says Johnny. ""It's the pupil of the eye."" ""Very good, Johnny,"" responds the teacher. ""That's correct."" She then turns to Flora and says, ""First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And…

/r/Jokes roulette! Pick a joke from /r/Jokes having read only the title, and the first time you read it, do so aloud to a mother/grandmother/teacher/feminist/racial minority. Preferably with a few friends who will all do the same. Worst of luck to you!

Flowers Wilt My daughter came home and told us that the teacher for her flower-arranging class started out by telling the class that they needed always to keep in mind that even the prettiest flowers wilt. I could not sit silent for her to say that. ""I disagree!"" I said. ""I am sure that most of the good flowers won't.""

""Fraud"" Our teacher put an ugly dried up amphibian specimen on the lab table and asked: So. Is it a FROG or a TOAD? Murph: It is a ""FRAUD"".

Harry, it's your baby Said Professor Umbridge

Students are taking a sign language course. The teacher doesn't recognize one of them, and says ""Are you in this class?"" Student says, ""I'm auditing."" Teacher says, ""Then you're in the wrong class.""

18 years ago my 4rd grade teacher said to me ""You aren't shit and you'll never amount to anything.""... I guess it's safe to say, she was a psychic. Wonder if she can predict the lottery too.

My fourth grade teacher told the class to go outside and sit Indian style... so I drank a bottle of vodka and passed out in the street.

I used to think I could draw conclusions from small samples... ...after only a few statistics classes, I realized I couldn't. Every statistics professor I've had has told me to disregard trends in small samples, but I haven't taken that many classes so I can't be sure.

When my teacher wanted to see an example of a ringed molecule... I got my arsole out.

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: Ooh...ok!! STUDENT: Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the …

A joke/story about the Berlin Airlift So last year when I was taking AP US History we got to talking about the Cold War and the Berlin Airlift, which, if you didn't know, was when American/Allied forces dropped supplies into and evacuated East Berlin, which was under Soviet control. Now, it's worth noting that my teacher encouraged students to make puns off of the content, and actually had competitions between the class periods on who could get the most puns. Now as she was lecturing one kid, we…

A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word ""definitely"". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said, ""The sky is definitely blue"". The teacher said, ""Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's grey and cloudy"". Another student says, ""Grass is definitely green."" The teacher again replies ""If grass doesn't get enough water it turns…

In the USSR's School system it was very important not to fall asleep while the teacher was talking Or you would fail to achieve class consciousness.

I was going to write my argument essay on why Donald Trump is Adolf Hitler... But my professor said my thesis couldn't be a fact.

Home Work Jokes jemi:Teacher,would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher,ofcourse not. Jemi:Good because I didn't do my home work.

My professor just told the WORST physics joke What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing, cause you can't cross a scalar and a vector!

Student: Sir, can i ask a question? **STUDENT**: Sir, can I ask a question? **TEACHER**: Yes! **STUDENT**: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? **TEACHER**: I don't know. **STUDENT**: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! **TEACHER**: Ok, ask. **STUDENT**: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? **TEACHER**: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. **STUDENT**: No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. **TEACHER**:…

A little girl said ""I looked into the parlour, and I saw my sister take off her clothes. I saw my sisters music teacher take off his clothes."" ""Perhapse they were going to piss on the piano""?

Teacher to Johnny.... A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, ""If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"" Johnny says, ""None."" The teacher asks, ""Why?"" Johnny says, ""Because the shot scared them all off."" The teacher says, ""No, two, but I like how you're thinking."" Johnny asks the teacher, ""If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is suck…

Billy was on his phone in Biology class... The teacher got mad and randomly called on Billy. ''Billy! Are you listening?'' yelled the teacher. ''Yea'' said Billy, as he looked up from his phone. ''Ok, can you explain cellular respiration to me?'' Billy looked down his phone and looked back up. ''Sorry, I can't. I don't see my phone breathing.''