Professor: "Did you just show up drunk to my exam?" No way "Hungover then?" Nope "There's a lime wedge on your face"

*man with beerbelly waiting outside elementary school* *teacher walks towards man* "are you expecting a child?" "no thats from all the beer"

STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.

Johnny's on a Roll (With his two black balls)(SFW) Ms Wendall was a first grade teacher who had a bit of a morbid sense of humor. One day she said to the class, ""I have an interesting idea. Everyday, I will ask a very hard question and who ever can answer it will get to leave the class early. You can't look up the answer on a smart phone or computer, you just have to know it."" The class is intrigued, so they so they take up. Ms Wendall's offer. By the end of the class, Ms. Wendall asks the fir…