Teacher Jokes

A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!

A teacher asks her class what the chemical formula for water is... Boy: ""HIJKLMNO!"" Teacher: ""What on earth are you talking about?"" Boy: ""Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!"" ^^^^Credit ^^^^goes ^^^^to ^^^^a ^^^^YouTube ^^^^comment ^^^^i ^^^^just ^^^^saw

I was let down in life by two people My mum, my dad and my maths teacher

Blatant racial discrimination with a twist of truth. First grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. The teacher asks Sarah: ""What did you do at recess?"" Sarah says, ""I played in the sandbox."" The teacher says, ""That's good, now go to the Blackboard and if you can spell 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."" She does and gets a cookie. The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess. Morris says, ""I played with Sarah in the sandbox."" The teacher says, ""Good. If you wri…

He died for our sines Parent to Teacher: Our Son doesn't need to do math, 'cause he's a prophet! Prophets don't do math! Would you make Jesus do math?"" Teacher: Jesus was a carpenter. He knew his math.

Whoever answers my next question can go home A teacher says to his class: Whoever answers my next question can go home A student throws his bag out the window Teacher: Who threw that? Student: Me, I'm going home now

My maths teacher is like a line that touches a point on a curve He goes on a tangent but he always gets to the point.

Phantom energy So, our science teacher was teaching us about phantom energy. At one point of the lesson, he puts his phone on the counter and says; ""If I leave my phone here it will eventually die."" After a little pause I hear another student whisper and say; ""Same with children"".

A scientist, a doctor and a janitor discover an old lamp... The scientist rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out! ""Thank you for releasing me!"" said the genie, ""You can have anything you like, providing you do one days work of a different profession. You may choose what you want to do."" The scientist goes first, ""Well I've always thought that being a kindergarten teacher would be an easy job."" BAM! The scientist is transported to a kindergarten. The scientist begins his lesson by a…

A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people skip his name

so that's the reason Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

Tyrone first day at 1st grade Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays. ""The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that."" Mom says ""cause u black and they white."" Next day Tyrone is crying again . ""What's wrong today Tyrone"" his mother ask. Tyrone said ""teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that."" Mom …

Little Johnny was doing his math homeworl ""One plus one, that son of a bitch is two. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."" He says to himself. His mother over hears him and asks what he's doing. ""My math homework."" He says. ""Is that how your teacher told you to do it?"" Little Johnny nods. The next day the mother talks to the teacher. ""Are you teaching my son to say. 'Two plus two, that son of a bitch is four.' ?"" ""Oh no!"" Says the teacher, ""It's, 'Two plus two, the sum of whic…

My essay on sick, long necked mammals had lots of errors in it. My teacher said it was a rough giraffe.

Kids bring gifts to the teacher on the last day of school The florist's son buys a nice bouquet, the confectioner's daughter gets a cake, and the son of the liquor store owner brings a big box, nicely wrapped. The teacher lifts the box and sees that it's slightly leaking. She humorously tastes a drop and asks: 'Is it wine?' 'Nope,' answers the boy. She tastes another drop. 'Champagne?' 'Nope.' 'Okay, I give up,' says the teacher. 'What is it?' 'A puppy...'

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? Read this on facebook. Hilarious haha STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: O…

Little Johnny complains to mom at home, ""Mom, our teacher really doesn't know anything. He keeps asking us!""

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies...... Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

Little Timmy was struggling very hard with his math classes. His parents did everything and anything to help their son...private tutors, teacher meetings, and even asking the local Asian kid. Nothing worked. Finally, in a last ditch effort they enrolled him into a small Catholic school to see if the nun's strict curriculum would do the trick. At the end of the first day of school the boy walked in with a stern expression on his face, and walked right past the parents and went straight to his roo…

My teacher touched me Seriously, his lecture was fantastic

A 2nd Grade Teacher was Fired Today /DryHumor A superintendent, school principal, vice principal, and New Jersey Department of Education are touring the elementary school for their annual walkthrough. The hallways buzz about as they pass classroom after classroom, a living collage of Language Arts lessons, Social Studies, sing songs edutainment and the like. One classroom is noticeably silent. The group stops. A few light raps on the door summons the teacher, Ken Tibbles. The students heads are …

There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. [Long] There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. The school used to come in the news fairly regularly for nothing but their bullies. More often than not the school bullies used to line up the other students and hit them in the face. The consequences of not being present in the line were worse than getting *punched* in the face, so helplessly once a week on Monday all the students…

I told my mom I got in trouble at school today for a PDA.... She said, ""For what? Kissing your teacher's ass?""

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, ""When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"" The first guy says, ""I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."" The second guy says, ""I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."" The last guy repl…

A teacher asks one of her students what the formula for water was... He said, ""H I J K L M N O"" Teacher: What? Student: Yesterday, you said the formula for water is H2O