Obama Jokes

If Hillary is elected..... will she only make 70% of what Obama makes?

Which strip club does Obama go to? The Illuminaughty

What did the super-fan sheep say to Obama? You Bahhhhhh-Rock!

The Robot Bartender A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says ""Martini."" The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, ""What's your IQ?"" The guy says, ""168."" The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Martini"". Again, the robot make…

Skipper This is one of my favorite jokes, but I have to warn you, it's a bit of a shaggy-dog joke. So, there's a guy named Skipper who, at his work, is known for being a braggart and constantly making things up. Everyone in the workplace knows that Skipper's always telling ridiculous stories and they eventually learn to ignore it. Skipper's boss, though, can't stand it, and says to himself ""this obnoxious kid is insufferable. I can't have him coming into the office everyday and spouting this bu…

Knock Knock. who's there? Netanya Netanya who? Yep... thanks Obama.

Obama will go down in history as America's first gold president.

Zebra in heaven The Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, ""I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"" St. Peter said, ""That's a question only God can answer."" So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, ""God, please - I must know am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"" God simply replied ""You are what you are."…

Obama, Biden, and Clinton sit in a plane.. Obama looks out the window and says to the other two, ""Ive been thinking. I wish I could do more to help these people; they deserve so much!"" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a $100 bill. He says, ""If I drop this out the window, I can make somebody really happy!"" Biden clears his throat and says, ""Excuse me Mr. President, but I can do you one better."" He pulls out ten $10 bills and continues, ""I can drop ten of these out the window and ma…

What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey? Rope and chains.

Hot Coffee... HOT COFFEE Gotta love those grand-kids .. I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, ""What day is tomorrow?"" Without skipping a beat she said, ""It's Presidents Day!"" She's smart, so I asked her ""What does Presidents Day mean?"" I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or Clinton, etc. She replied, ""Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, And if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bull Shit."" You know, it …

Obama is visiting India! Indian government has installed 15000 CCTV cameras. Come on! Just cause he is Black, he won't steal!

Obama is a lot like college Everyone wants four more years, but nobody wants to pay for it.

What do you call it when a South African camalid is having problems with her child's school project depicting the 44th president of the United States? Baby llama mamma's Obama diorama drama! From my buddy, John, a guy who is still trying to figure out if he likes Reddit or not.

Why do you get arrested for walking into an army base unauthorised in the USA? Because Obama doesn't like anyone sneaking in his barracks.

Putin and Obama are put in ice for 10 years... Putin and Obama are put in ice for 10 years. When they wake up, they are given to morning newspaper. Suddenly Putin starts laughing like hell. Obama asks that what is so funny. Putin shows the front page which reads ""Communism in USA"". Then Obama opens the paper and starts laughing even more. Putin asks that what can be more funny than communism in USA. Obama shows the front page: ""Restless activities on Europe - China border.

Not Joking, Will I get in trouble if I tell a dirty joke that involves Obama, Bush and Pelosi? (its very dirty)

If Obama had run against a cop in the 2012 Presidential Election... He would have got beaten.

Obama and Biden are sitting in the Oval Office... Obama looks at the Vice President and says ""Look at this economic report! The people of Bangkok are doing astoundingly! What will we call this country in 20 years?"" Biden thinks for a moment, then replies, ""I'm not sure Mr. President. What will we call them?"" Obama stands up, looks into the distance, and says ""We will call them Tai-Two."" The President sits back down and reads another report. ""My god!"" he exclaims, ""The Berlin numbers are…

Obama and Putin got a chance to ask God one question each... ...and Obama asks: ""So God, please tell me, when the US will enter into another recession?"" ""In six years"" said God. ""That won't be during my term"" said relieved Obama. ""And when will Russia achieve well-being?"" asked Putin. ""That won't be during my term"" replied God.

Obama supporters are like Christmas lights... Half of them don't work and the other half aren't very bright.

emo vs obama emo has a gun and obama has a ball to wow the crowd with but the ball has a spike on it

Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation. He said he would bring change, not take it away.

Did you hear about the mishap at the Asia Summit? The Chinese government is seeking answers after the recent Beijing Conference. Apparently, several of Obama's and Putin's private bodyguards were the last to use one of the royal toilets before it was reported clogged. Obama announced that he will ask congress to create a commission to investigate the incident while Putin denies that his forces ever entered the bathroom.

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