Obama Jokes

Walking Eagle Barack Obama spoke for nearly an hour at the American Indian Convention, referring to the audience as his red brothers and red sisters. Obama promised the native Americans expanded job opportunity, improved living conditions and a higher standard of living. Although detail was vague or lacking, his speech was enthusiastic and eloquent. After his speech, the Tribal chief presented Obama with a large plaque bearing the inscription “WALKING EAGLE”. The tribal chief was later s…

Obama went on a run and fell in a river. - three young boys pulled him out of the river. Obama said my god, you saved the president of your country. name any one thing you want and you'll have it. - The first boy said he wanted a house for his mother, they'd never had a house. Obama bought it. - The second boy wanted to go to Disney world. Obama made it so. - The third boy asked for a wheelchair. Perplexed, Obama said "Why do you need a wheel chair, you seem to walk fine". - The young…

Putin and Obama meet in Moscow They're debating the merits of their respective societies. They argue about moral values and which country is doing better. Obama: I've heard that all Russian are alcoholics. Putin: That's a Russophobic myth. I bet there's not a single drunk out in Moscow tonight. Obama: I don't believe you. I bet if we take your limo out for a spin I'll see some drunks staggering around. Putin: Okay, let me prove you wrong. We'll drive around and if you see a single drunk y…

Obama died joke One day in the future, Barrack Obama has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Ob…

Donald Trump walks up to President Obama... He asks, "Obama my man, how did you manage to put together such a wonderful team? Tell me your secret." Obama smiles and replies, "Well, the first thing that you have to do, Mr Trump, is to surround yourself with intelligent people." "Well how do I do that?" asks Trump. "Simple," Obama replies. "The way I do it, I always ask them one simple question." He turns around and yells, "Joe! Get in here!" Joe Biden saunters into the the room. "Joe," Obama…

There's a special running course around the White House. Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.

The 2016 Presidential Race is ending... It's the end of the 2016 presidential race and the people of the United States hated all the candidates so much that nobody voted. The government is in a panic trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea: a literal presidential race. The three candidates would run a lap around the White House and the person with the best time would become president. Bernie Sanders goes first, but be…

Running for president It's the end of the 2016 Presidential race and the United States hated all the candidates so much that nobody voted. The government is in a panic trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally, Obama comes up with an idea: A Literal Presidential Race. The three candidates would run a lap around the White House and the person with the best time would become president. Sanders goes first, but being as old as he is, he takes about …

It's the end of the 2016 Presidential race The people of the US hated all the candidates so much that no one voted. The government is in a panic, trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea: A literal presidential race. The three candidates would run a lap around the white house, and the best time would become president. Bernie Sanders goes first, but being as old as he is, he takes 24 minutes. Trump goes next and post…

If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say... Orange is the new Black. Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to.

President Obama is doing his morning exercises... ...and jogging around the White House grounds when one of the Secret Service agents suggests he should see how fast he can circle the White House ten times. After all, it is a presidential tradition to try it at least once, and being moderately athletic, he figured he'd make pretty good time. So he stands at the south portico with the agent, who counts him down. "3...2...1...go!" President Obama takes off. He paces himself, not wanting to exha…

Did you read the joke Hillary emailed to Obama?

George Bush is with the Queen of England. George: "Your Majesty, any tips you can give me to stay in power, the way you have been for so long?" "Well" said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." George frowned and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are intelligent?" The Queen: "Easy, you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "David Cameron, would you come in here, please?" David…

Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Kim Jung il are entering the gates of hell Obama sees that there is a phone at the Devils office and asks him if he could use it to make one last call to his family. The devil says its ok and Obama makes the call. He spoke for 10 minutes and the devil then said it cost 1 million dollars because it was a long distance call. Obama obviously didn't have a choice so he payed up and then entered the gates of hell. Queen Elizabeth then said she wanted to make a call and th…

You know, those people who insult Obama and the Clintons.. really need to stop beating around the Bush.

When Trump visited the White House before his presidency... He asked then president Obama how he managed to run two successful terms. "Simple", Obama replied, "Just get an intelligent wife" "How do I know my wife is intelligent?" Trump asked. "Just ask her intelligent questions and if she answers correctly, then you know she is intelligent". Obama then called Michelle and asked "Darling, your parents have a child, the child is neither your sister nor your brother, who is the child?" "The c…

Obama was pretty well-spoken for a... ...modern U.S. president.

Putin, Obama and Merkel stand at the sea Putin presents a submarine, saying: "This best russian technology! Our submarines stay 1 month under water without ever need to go surface!" Obama smiles and says: "This is our submarine... It can stay up to 3 months under water, no need to emerge even one time!" Merkel stands next to them saying nothing. Suddenly the sea is rambling and a submarine emerges next to them. The top hatch opens and out pops and old man, raising his arm and shouting "HE…

Why did homeless people vote for Obama? Because he said he’d bring change.

How will Trump's presidency end? Someone will tell him Obama can hold his breath for 10 mins.

Obama vs trump Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there

Trump and Obama at the barber Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there

Trump and Obama meet during inauguration... Trump asks: Barack

Trump and Obama meets during inauguration. Trump asks: Barack

Obama and Putin die and go to hell. As former world leaders