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Moses Jokes

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Moses was praying to God to free his people when the voice of God rang out from the heavens. "Moses," he said, "I have good news and bad news." "What's the good news?" asked Moses. God said: "If Pharaoh will not let my people go, I will send down a rain of frogs, a plague of locusts and a plague of flies, and I will turn rivers to blood. And if Pharaoh pursues you, I shall open a path for you in the Red Sea but then close it again to drown his army." "That would be really helpful," said Moses. "

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A young man had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to the study and said to the boy, "I'll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B- average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." Well, the boy thought about that for a moment and decided that he'd best settle for the offer and they agreed. After about six weeks, the boy came ba

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Moses an God were golfing one day as they get to the final hole, etween the hole and God was a water trap. So God asks Moses to hand him his iron. Moses says, "I really think you should use the putter." God replies, "Just hand me the iron." God makes his first shot and it lands in the water. He looks at moses and says, "Will you go retrieve my ball?" So Moses walks down to the water parts the waters and retrieves his ball. They continue the same pattern three more times until Moses finally refus

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Biblical Bumper Stickers: Adam: "You are what you eat." Eve: "At least he doesn't compare me to his mother." Abraham: "I'm goin' not knowin'." Noah: "Honk if you believe in treading water." Moses: "From a basket case to the promise land." Elizah: "When Jezebel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Balaam: "My second donkey talks!" Prodigal Son: "All roads lead to home." At the Sinai desert: "Winding road next 40 years" At the Red Sea: "Caution! Subject to sudden flooding"

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