Noah Jokes

I know they took some creative liberties with 'Noah' but I really wasn't expecting that Prius.

God: U have to build an ark to save the animals from a tsunami Noah: But you're god, can't you just stop the tsunami God: *loves boats* No

How come Noah didn't just slap those two mosquitoes?

You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go.

The movie Noah would be more entertaining if it was combined with Sharknado.

[day 38 on the ark] NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that

We could have saved 10 - 15 lives a year if Noah would have just said "ya know what, bears? No". Plus the Cubs wouldn't be a team.

My arc would have been filled with wolves. I would have made a terrible Noah.

Noah build an ark "what? why" I'm gunna flood the earth "just give me fish powers" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!

Noah: I need 2 of every animal Shark: even us? Noah: no, you can swim Unicorn: I'm pretty good at swimming Noah: go for it

[Noah from the Bible is doing laundry and his washer just starts spewing water] DEBORAH GET THE BOAT

Noah: A boat? God: Yes. Noah: Two of every animal? God: Yes. Noah: I have a better idea. God: What. Noah: Maybe don't kill everyone.

God: done? Noah: yea G: whats this Noah proudly: a swing set G: u built a park. I asked for an ark N: a what? G: a boat N: say boat then

If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board.

If Noah was not holding ' Control ' while selecting the animals that were to enter the ark, then the Bible is a lie to me.

Noah in a pet shop "Two of every animal please" "Want any unusual examples?" "No, just arky-types"

Noah: An ark? Full of animals?? God: ... Noah: You even listening?? God: Sorry what? I was checking out the iPhone 6. This thing is garbage.

i did it God! i finaly got 2 of evry animal NOAH.THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE *noah looks at boat full of dead animals* do u kno how long this took

So, Noah found two polar bears in the Mideast? And after the flood, he took them back to Canada? That sounds plausible. #GodScience

God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?

Kinda creepy that Noah could tell the difference between the male and female versions of EVERYTHING

Noah had a younger brother called Rick who just built a speedboat and saved 9 cheetahs

'Noah' plot hole: THE FOOD CHAIN.

"NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK" k "NOT "K" THIS IS IMPORTANT" Sorry "THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT" Even fish? *THUNDER* "NO NOT FISH

"I'm telling you, it's all or nothing," the exterminator explains to Noah, "I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."