Craigslist Jokes

When answering a Craigslist ad, clarify the meaning of "XXX fun" up front or else you could end up playing Nintendo with a large woman.

Oh, you like Five Guys hamburgers more than In-N-Out? *unfollows *blocks *stews *hires assassin on Craigslist *unblocks to monitor situation

If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist

I'm sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn't find the Jews on craigslist.

"Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist." It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse.

Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free

me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD

just found out today that monkeys don't lay eggs. so what have i been buying on craigslist. what have i been eating

Going to get a facial today... this guy on Craigslist is offering a way lower price than the salon!

I put an ad in Craigslist for a muscular blonde with strong arms, excessive body hair and a thick British accent so I'm dating Madonna now.

Craigslist is useful until you need a list of people named Craig.

A guy on Catfish dated a girl for 4 years despite only seeing ONE picture of her. I wouldn't buy a futon on Craigslist with only one pic.

Someone is selling a rot iron table on Craigslist ..wonder If they would trade for a dictionary

CRAIGSLIST AD: Wanted - chicken nugget shaped like Rafael. Have 2 Leonardo's, willing to trade. Serious offers only. No Michaelangelo's.

I hear my ex is now into cross dressing & looking for same. At least that's what the Craigslist ad I just posted on his behalf says.

Craigslist is actually a great way to find stuff that's been murdered on

Use Angie's List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.

If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at.

"Woman impregnated at Motorhead concert seeks father on Craigslist." And they say romance is dead

I bet Melania Trump really regrets buying a speech off Craigslist now.

My urologist is weird. I peed in a cup. He drank it and said, "You're fine." Then he paid me. Don't choose a doctor from Craigslist.

Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver's license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?

Turns out buying that meth lab on craigslist was illegal

He died doing what he loved: meeting people on Craigslist to buy furniture.

Using Craigslist can get you murdered, but that's only one of its many advantages