Oh, you like Five Guys hamburgers more than In-N-Out? *unfollows *blocks *stews *hires assassin on Craigslist *unblocks to monitor situation

*hears someone breaking in* *grabs gun and walks down hallway* *cord drags* *realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt* *gets shot*

When I was a kid 'friends with benefits' meant that kid had a nintendo.

If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist