Craig Jokes

"This is where we separate the men from the boys."- Craig, JC Penny manager, organizing the layout of the store.

good news Craig, we got your murder charge bumped down to theft. just tell us why you stole that dude's blood/bones

Craigslist is useful until you need a list of people named Craig.

Movie pitch: There's this guy named Craig that makes a list of Jews he can save from Naz... what?

"Did you bring your LIST?" -Everyone who sees Craig at the supermarket, probably

People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig.

Why do we PARK on a DRIVEway, but my mom's boyfriend Craig won't let me call him Dad when we hug?

Baby metamorphosis I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig. that is all

The phone rings at the local police station. ""Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Craig. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"" ""Thank you very much for the call, sir."" The next day, policemen descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Craig, did the police come?"" ""Yep."" ""Did they chop…

A drunk man walks into a bar ... ""Jesus, Craig, you suck at playing limbo!"" said the man's friend.

Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi. I suspect Craig.

My twin sons Craig and Stuart are going to America to audition on the X factor when it starts over there. ""Hi, i'm Craig Towers, and i'm Stuart Towers... and together we're Twin Towers"" I've got a feeling they'll go down well.

"Craig, I caught your son playing 'doctor' with my daughter!" "Oh lord, that kid. My boy didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?" "I'll say! The co-pay he charged was outrageous!"

The phone rings at the local police station. “Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor Craig. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”

A joke I heard at mass A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says ""Craig

A joke I heard at mass A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol" The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ? They were Holo-costly