Desert Island Jokes

Stranded on an island **2 guys named Andaman and Nicobar were stranded on an island, while they searched for food they realized they were lost** **Andaman said** *""Why didn't you leave a trail?!""* **Nicobar Replied** *""Sorry! I FORGOT AUS-TRAIL-IA!""*

Three Men in the Middle of the Desert There are three men stranded in the middle of the desert. Doomed to waste away without any rescue on the way they are approached by a genie, granting them each a wish, but that wish cannot be to get out of the desert. The first man replies 'Well I wish for enough water and food to last us the entire time we are trapped here, to ensure our survival'. The second man replies ""How about a map, Genie? That way we will surely find a way out of here at some point.…

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the Negav desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this jew labor genie here

A man is stranded in the ocean. And he begins praying to God. ""Dear god, please, surely you will save me."" A couple minutes later, a boat comes by. ""Hey buddy, do you need a ride or something?"" The man responds ""No, no, I'm waiting for our holy lord to save me, but thank you."" Another boat comes driving up. This one from the coast guard. ""Hey, are you ok out here? We can boat you back into shore."" To which the man responds ""No thank you, I am waiting for our holy father to save me from …

Three girlfriends get lost while driving through the desert. Suddenly, the car runs out of gas and leaves them stranded in the middle the hot desert. They decide that they should split up and look for help. But before they go, they each take a part of the car with them to help them on their journey. The brunette friend goes first. She takes the car battery and car horn. ""I can use this to attract attention and be rescued!"" The redhead goes next. She takes the car hood. ""I can use it to slide …

A guy is stranded on a deserted island with a famous supermodel. Within a week the two lonely castaways are making love. Then, one day, the guy turns to the supermodel and says, ""I was hoping you could do me a favor."" ""Sure,"" she replies. ""First, put on my clothes,"" he says. ""Fine,"" she says while getting dressed. ""Great. Now draw a beard on your face with this coal I found,"" he says. ""OK,"" she replies. ""That's perfect. And would you mind if I called you Joe?"" ""I guess not,"" answ…

Two Bar S truck drivers get caught in a snowstorm. Stranded for days. They cannibalize each other than eat their product.

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche. A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, ""Where did you get that truck?!"" He calmly told them, ""I bought it today."" ""With what money?"" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. ""Well,"" said the boy, ""this one cost me just fifteen dollars."" So the parents began to yell even louder. ""Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?…

Three blondes are stuck on a desert island... Three blonde women are stuck on a desert island when they find a magical lamp with a genie inside. I have three wishes to offer, says the genie, so that makes it one wish for each of you. I want to be smart enough to get off this island, says the first blonde. She becomes a redhead, builds a small raft and sails off the island. I want to be even smarter than her, says the second blonde. She becomes a brunette, builds a comfortable sailing boat, and s…

Bob Tom and Debbie are Stranded on a Desert Island Bob, Tom, and Debbie are Stranded on a Desert Island. Barely fighting to survive, they resign themselves to months with only each other for company. Eventually, Bob and Debbie start getting it on, doing what comes naturally in survival situations. Not to be left out of the fun, Tom and Debbie start boning too. Debbie, wracked by guilt afterwards, commits suicide. Lonely, and without companionship on the beech, Bob and Tom start doing what comes …

Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly, and myself were stranded on a desert island... I then proceeded to bash my own head in with a coconut

On a deserted island... A guy washes up on a deserted isle. He befriends a dog and a pig on the island. They become close companions and began a nightly ritual where they would watch the sunset on the beach. But the man was lonely and over time the pig began to appear more attractive. One night, the man put his arm around the pig and begins to nuzzle against it. The dog bears his teeth and snarls at the amorous man. The man realizes his mistake and backs off. Days pass and the man, the pig and t…

Scary This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reached the ghats his Car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and raining. And pretty soon he got wet and was shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by, the rain…

Stranded on an Island There once was a young single guy on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island. Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a wo…

A screenwriter and a movie producer are stranded in the desert After roaming the desert for two days, the two men are on the verge of dying of thirst when they come across an oasis. They run over to spring in the center. The screenwriter drops to his knees at the edge of the water, but before he can start drinking the water, the producer starts peeing into it. The screenwriter, in horror, yells, ""What the hell are you doing?!?"" The producer replies ""Improving it.""

The man on the deserted island As the tittle suggests, there's a man who strands on a deserted island. His ship sank and he could barely swim to the island but he made it. He only found bananas to eat and he drank the milk from coconuts. It wasn't much but it was enough to survive. days passed until he saw a little boat coming his way. In the boat was the most beautiful woman he ever saw. He got her attention by shouting and waving and she rowed his direction. ""What are you doing here?"" the ma…

Three guys, stranded on a desert island. Find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says ""I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here""

Two Men are stranded on a Boat with three cigarettes but no matches. One man cleverly throws a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

A captain and his crew were stranded in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean... His crew consisted of one white man, one Mexican, and one black man. Realizing his fate he turned to his crew and said, ""Men, it's not looking to good for us. We're all going to starve unless someone sacrifices themself for food."" The crew look at him like he's crazy and none of them agree. The captain then pulled out a gun and pointed it at them, ""I'm the captain, this is my ship. I'm the only one who knows how to sa…

Getting off the Island There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, ""I'm going to try to swim to shore."" So she swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.   The second one, the redhead, said to herself, ""I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and st…

Stranded on an Island (Blonde Joke) So there is a red head, a brunette, and a blonde stranded on an island. To get to safety, they have to swim 50 miles. They finally decide they have to try. So they set off and start swimming. The brunette makes it 20 miles before she gets too tired and dies. The red head makes it 35 miles before she also gets tired and dies. But the blond, after 49 miles, gets tired, and decides to swim back to the island before she gets tied and drown like the other two.

Three men are trapped on a desert island When they find a tea pot. The first man rubs it an out comes a genie, ""you have 3 wishes."" Man 1: ""I wish I was at a party in the city!"" POOF he disappeared Man 2: ""I wish a was at my house with a beer!"" POOF he disappeared Man 3: ""I'm lonely now... I wish my friends were with me.""

An chinese man, African man, and American man are stranded in the desert... ... they've been lost for days and are running low on water. They only have 1 bottle left. They talk amongst themselves and realize that if they share it they will all surely die. So they decide to have a jumping contest to decide who can have it. That way at least one of them has a chance of surviving. The Chinese man goes first. He jumps and hits a a tree. Upset, he says ""I could have jumped higher if I didn't hit tha…

A plane crashes on a desert island... A plane crashes on a desert island and only the pilot, the copilot and a hostess survive. After days of waiting for help, the pilot and the copilot talk to the hostess: ""You know... we are men, we have some needs... we are probably going to die and you are the only woman here... we could take turns if you agree"". The woman agrees. Unfortunately the hostess dies of starvation. Once again the pilot speaks: ""You know... we are both men, but we have needs... …

Three men and one woman are stranded on a desert island... After the first week...the woman kills herself for what she had been doing. After the second week...the men bury her After the third week...they dig her up again