Desert Island Jokes

The stranded man A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts. ""What's the first hut for?"" he asks. ""That's my house,"" says the castaway. ""What's the second hut for?"" ""That's my church."" ""And the third hut?"" ""Oh, that?"" sniffs the castaway. ""That's the church I used to go to

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Frenchman wash up on a desert island after their plane crashes at sea... Paddy Frenchman didn't make it and the others decide that they must divide up his corpse and resort to cannibalism lest they starve to death.   Paddy Englishman says ""Well, I'm from Liverpool so I should get his liver."" The others agree that seems fair.   Paddy Scotsman says ""I'm from Braetongue, so I should get his tongue.""   After a …

Two wires at sea Two wires were on an ocean cruise when the ship sprung a leak and sank. The solid core wire managed to climb into a lifeboat and head to safety. The other was stranded.

This is what I learned from Russian Literature Alright so 2 guys and 1 girl are stranded on a island If they were French then they would have a ""menage a trois"" and get along just fine. If they were English then they would be mad at each other because none of them were properly introduce. And if they were Russian then the girl would have married the guy she didn't like and everyone would be unhappy.

10 Men and 1 Woman Swam Ashore to a Desert Island After a Shipwreck 1 month later, the woman committed suicide; eww, that was gross. 2 months later, the men decided to bury her; eww, that was gross. 3 months later, the men decided to dig her out; eww, that was gross. 4 months later, God decided to resurrect her; eww, that was gross.

3 guys stranded on an island , they find a magic Lamp.. the first guy makes a wish .. I wish I was off this island and be with my wife and children..POOF Hes at home with wife and kids ..2nd guy wishes he was in vegas with a bunch of women and lots of money POOF he's in Vegas .. 3rd Guy Grabs the lamp Dam I miss My friends... POOF

Three blondes are lost after a shipwreck... After the shipwreck, they wake up at a deserted island. They don't know what to do, tired and hungry, when one of them find a shining object lying on the beach. It is a golden lamp. After a couple of hours, one of the blondes has the idea to rub the lamp. Surprisingly, a genie appears. ""You have three wishes"", he says to the blondes. After noticing that they are blondes, he completes ""That is one wish for each"". The first blonde says ""I wish a was…

Stranded on a desert island Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says ""I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here.""

Three Guys Stranded on a Cannibal Island So one day, a boat carrying many people crash on a cannibal island. There are three survivors, an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a New York-er. They are told by the cannibals that the may kill themselves in any whey they like, and that their skins will be used for canoes. So the Englishman pulls out a gun, says, ""For my Queen!"", and shoots himself. The cannibals use his skin for a canoe. The Frenchman pulls out a bottle of poison-laced whiskey, says, ""Fo…

A man is stranded on a deserted island. To attract rescuers he sends out a smoke signal. ""Help! My blankets on fire!""

Two men are stranded at sea... Bill and Ben are stranded at sea in a life boat. Floating for days and dying of thirst, they see a bottle floating by. One of them grabs it, in doing so rubbing it, and of course a genie pops out. ""I shall grant you one wish and one wish only,"" says the genie. ""I wish the entire ocean was BEER,"" Bill blurts out. So the genie turns the entire ocean into beer, and quickly disappears back into the bottle. ""You idiot,"" Ben yells as he grabs Bill by the collar, ""…

An engineer a physicist and an actuary are on a stranded island... The have nothing but cans of beans. The engineer says, let's build a contraption that will drop a rock on the can at an angle that will open the can. The actuary says that the beans will spill everywhere. The physicist says, let's build a fire, heat up the cans of beans so that they expand. The actuary says, the cans will explode and we won't be able to collect them. The actuary goes, why don't we just assume we have a can opener…

A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, ""Let's smash the can open with a rock."" The chemist says, ""Let's build a fire and heat the can first."" The economist says, ""Let's assume that we have a can opener."" (Paul Samuelson)

As tends to happen at the start of jokes, 5 men and a woman survive a shipwreck, and wake up on a deserted island... ...where they find everything they need to survive and live well: food, water, shelter. But being people, they have certain needs. Lovey-dovey needs. The woman is a proper lady, though, and so they come up with a fair system. She will sleep with the first guy the first week (unlimited supply of condoms too on this heckuva-awesome island), guy #2 week 2, guy #3 week 3, guy #4 week …

A Chinese guy is shipwrecked on a deserted island when he finds a genie in a lamp. The genie says 'I will grant you three wishes. But before I do, I should tell you, the last person to find me was Japanese, and he wished that everything the next person wishes for, all Japanese people get double. The Chinese guy thinks carefully then says no problem. ""First of all, I wish that tomorrow morning I wake up back home safe and sound with my family."" ""Ok,"" says the Genie, ""Well then every Japanese…

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island. One day the blond comes running up to the others screaming that she found a magic lamp. The others bored out of their minds decides to follow. They finally show up to the spot and they see a really old lamp. The brunette picks it up and wipes some dust off of it. A genie pops out and says ""You three who have disturbed my slumber, I will give you each one wish, so that I may sleep for a hundred more years."" The brunette, holding the l…

Two Ninjas What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night? Numchucks.

Mike and David are stranded in the desert... Mike and David are stranded in the desert. They've been walking for ages without food or even a sip of water. All of a sudden in the baron wasteland they find a mosque. David and mike agree that it is their best bet to go to the mosque because there'll be food and shelter. On the way to the mosque mike says ""David, let's pretend to be Muslims they'll treat us a lot better. If they ask what my name is I'm gonna say Mohammed"". David disagrees and thin…

Two guys and a girl are stranded on an island... After a few weeks the girl is so ashamed of the things that the three of them are doing that she kills herself. After a few more days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they decided to bury her. After another few days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they eventually dig her back up.

Assume a can opener A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island with no tools and a can of food. The physicist and the chemist each devised an ingenious mechanism for getting the can open; the economist merely says, ""Assume we have a can opener"".

Three guys are stranded in a jungle... ...And they encountered a native tribe who lived there. The natives tell the three men that they must complete a ritual, or else they will be killed. The first part of the ritual consists of going into the jungle and finding any 10 fruit and bringing them to the tribe. The first guy goes out and finds apples, so he brings back 10 apples. He is then told to drop his pants and the natives inform him that they will shove all 10 apples up his ass. If he shows a…

A man was out of gas on the side of the road... A man was pulled over on the side of the road, out of gas and stranded. He rolled down his window and a bee flew in. It landed on his dashboard and asked, ""Why are you pulled over?"" ""I'm out of gas"", said the man. ""Alright, just wait right here"", said the bee. It flew away and returned a few minutes later with a whole swarm of bees. The bees flew into his gas tank and, a few minutes later, flew back out. ""Try it now"", said the bee. The man …

Lost at Sea The crew of a spanish galleon has been stranded in the arctic for days after an unsuccessful voyage, quickly running out of supplies. The captain instructs his first mate to climb the ship's mast to try to find anything useful in the distance. He shouts up to the first mate ""Carlos! Is there no hope my friend?"" After a little while, Carlos shouts back down, dejectedly: ""Ay si! All I see is all icy!""

Three men get stranded on an island... 3 men get stranded on a desert island. After wandering around a while, they are found by some tribesmen. The natives take them back to their hut. The chief tells them, ""Go out into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of fruit."" The first guy returns with 10 apples, and the chief says ""Now shove them all up your ass without showing any emotion, or we'll kill you."" He shoves the the first up, and is in terrible pain, but shows no emotion, but during the proc…

Five men and a woman in a plane crashed on a deserted island A week later,the woman killed herself,because she thought what.happened last night was disguating A week later,the men buried the womans body because they think what happened last week is disgusting A week later,the men dug out the body because they think what happened last week is disgusting A week later,god braught the woman back because he think what happened last week is disgusting!!!!!