Desert Island Jokes

One I remember from high-school (kids, stay away) So, there are these two guys and a woman who get stranded on an island. After a couple of months of trying to escape and learning to survive, they decide to tough it out on the island until someone comes by and rescues them. With the obvious urges exceedingly present and with their lack of options, they decide to enter into a menage a trois -- the deal being that the woman will spend one week with one of the men, and then switch. This goes on for…

A brunette, redhead, and blonde are all trapped on a deserted island. They come across a lamp half buried in the sand, brush it off, and upon rubbing it, a genie comes out. ""I will grant you each one wish,"" exclaims the genie. The brunette steps up, ""I wish to be back home with my family."" ""Very well,"" says the genie. He snaps his fingers and the brunette disappears. The redhead agrees, ""I, too, wish to be back home with my family."" The genie nods, and snaps his fingers. This leaves the …

I swear, the natives must be really bored. Three men get stranded on a desert island. After wandering around a while, they are found by some tribesmen. The natives take them back to their village and the chief tells them, ""Go into jungle, bring back 10 pieces of fruit."" The first guy returns with 10 apples, and the chief says ""Now shove them up your ass without showing any emotion, or we'll kill you."" So, seeing them all standing there menacingly with their spears, he shoves the first up, an…

There are 3 men stranded in the wild... and one day they see an abandoned house and go inside. When they go inside however, they realized that there's only one bed. The floor was filthy, so they had no choice but to sleep on the same bed. The next morning, the two men sleeping on each side of the bed awoke and started to notice an acute pain coming from their privates. The man in the middle however, told them he had an intense and wonderful dream about skiing.

The three stranded men Three men are in a desert walking for days. They are miles and miles away from any signs of civilization. Suddenly a genie appears and gives the men a deal. He says not too far from here , there is a cliff and if you run and jump off, I'll grant you a wish while you are in mid air. So they all accept and the first man to run off jumps off and wishes that he was an eagle. His wish is granted and he flies off. The next man runs and jumps off and wishes that he was hawk and h…

Play around So corporate exec Joe is flying across the Pacific, when his plane crashes. Joe survives, but finds himself stranded on a desert island, with nothing to eat but coconuts, and whatever seafood he can catch. 10 years go by, with poor Joe having no human contact. One day, as Joe is fishing for his dinner, a beautiful blonde woman comes wading out of the surf, wearing a full body wet suit. She approaches Joe and introduces herself ""Hi, I'm Julie"", Joe is so excited, all he can say ""I'…

A British guy, a French guy, and a Korean guy got stranded on an island. The British guy decided it would be best for them to split up and meet back the next day. He told the other two that he would build a shelter, and told the French guy to gather food and the Korean guy to get supplies. The next day, the British guy had an impressive shelter built and the French guy showed up with berries and nuts, but there was no sign of the Korean guy. Days passed, and they began to get worried, so they se…

Another blonde, brunette, and redhead... ...are stranded on a deserted island. Before long they run out of all their supplies and are left in a hopeless and desperate situation. They determine that one of them will try and swim for the next closest inhabited island 100 miles away. The redhead volunteers to go, but 40 miles into her swim, she finds herself completely exhausted and drowns. So the brunette makes her attempt and after making it about 50 miles, can't swim another stroke and drowns. T…

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette... A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are stranded on an island. The natives there capture them and tell them that they're going to use their bodies to make boats to get out of there. Before killing them though, they'll grant them each one wish. The redhead wishes to be spared and allowed to go home, so keep their word and allow her to do so. The brunette wishes for the exact same thing, and again, they keep their promise. The blonde wishes for a fork. She ta…

3 wishes There are three friends that are stranded on an island. They stumble upon genie and he grants them three wishes. The first guy wishes that he would off the island. The second guy wished he too would wish to be off the island. The third guy was lonely, and wished his two friends would come back to the island.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island they can see land in the distance, and decide to swim for it. The redhead goes first, gets 1/4 of the way there, gets tired and swims back. The brunette manages to swim 1/3 of the way there, but gets tired and swims back. The blonde is able to swim halfway, but gets tired and returns to the island.

3 guys are stranded on an island of cannibals.... Three men are stranded on an island and caught by cannibals. The cannibals tell the three men to go into the jungle and bring back 5 pieces of fruit and they might let them live. All three men go into the forest to find fruit, and the first man comes back with 5 oranges. The cannibals say if he can shove all 5 oranges up his butt without screaming in pain them they will let him live. the man screams in pain on the second orange and the cannibals …

A Hispanic man, a European man, and an Asian man are put on a deserted island They are told that they will be rescued in 24 hours, provided they have proved their survival skills. The Hispanic man is in charge of building a shelter, the European man is in charge of finding food, and the Asian man is in charge of finding supplies. The three men go their separate ways to complete their tasks. 24 hours later, the rescue team comes back to the island in the hopes of seeing that the three men can pro…

3 guys are stranded on an island... 3 men get stranded on an island. After wandering around a while, they are found by some tribesmen. The natives take them back to their hut. The chief tells them, ""Go out into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of fruit."" The first guy returns with 10 apples, and the chief says ""Now shove them all up your ass without showing any emotion, or we'll kill you."" He shoves the the first up, and is in terrible pain, but shows no emotion, but during the process of pu…

This is a really long one, but absolutely my favorite joke. There was this guy, Scott, who for all intents and purposes, was perfectly normal. A happy marriage, a great job and few worries. That was, until, he was diagnosed with leprosy. Now, this wasn't the ""quarantine you on a deserted island"" kind of leprosy, nor was it contagious in the least, but it did have the nasty habit of making parts of his body drop off at inopportune times. Suffice it to say, this made Scott rather depressed and…

A man is stranded on a dessert island and it was delicious.

Captain Kidd prepared with his crew to search for buried treasure. Before setting out he consulted with his dentist, who advised him that all the best treasure out there was in the gold fillings of the teeth of various bodies, such as he might find in a cemetery or at the site of some battlefield. He kept this advice secret from his crew, and so when they landed on a desert island, they scattered, each using his own preferred means of treasure hunting, while Captain Kidd looked for cemeteries. H…

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. ""It's certainly not a ship,"" he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, ""Tell me how long has it been since you've had a ciga…

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, ""Where did you get that truck???!!!"" He calmly told them, ""I bought it today."" ""With what money?"" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche costs."" ""Well,"" said the boy, ""this one cost me fifteen dollars."" So the parents began to yell even louder. ""Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?"" they said. ""It was the lady up the street,"" said the boy. …

A man was trapped on a deserted island that was sinking into the sea. As the water lapped around his feet, a motor boat suddenly approached the island. ""Come on man, get in"" said the boatman. ""No"", said the guy on the island, ""I have faith in Jesus. He will save me."" The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chest, another boat appeared. ""Get in the boat, or you're going to drown"" said the boatman. Again, the guy said ""No, I have faith in Jesus. He w…

A Blonde and an Irishman One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, ""It's certainly not a ship."" And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up …

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions. The reply came back shortly: ""Begin vacation as of yesterday.""

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said ""Sorry no room. The hotel is full."" The Jewish lady said ""But your sign says that you have vacancies."" The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly ""You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."" Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said ""I'll have you know I convert…

Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food and no drinking water they were beginning to lose heart. Suddenly a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said ""I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true."" Friend number one got excited. He said ""I wish I was in Las Vegas with dice in one hand and a drink in the other surrounded by music food and beautiful women."" Instantly he was gone his w…

What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.