This is a really long one, but absolutely my favorite joke. There was this guy, Scott, who for all intents and purposes, was perfectly normal. A happy marriage, a great job and few worries. That was, until, he was diagnosed with leprosy. Now, this wasn't the ""quarantine you on a deserted island"" kind of leprosy, nor was it contagious in the least, but it did have the nasty habit of making parts of his body drop off at inopportune times. Suffice it to say, this made Scott rather depressed and afraid to be seen in public. After countless doctors visits, and consulting with the nations top specialists, he was finally stabilized physically to be reintroduced to society, though he remained under a psychiatrists care for his depression. Weekly sessions turned to monthly, and eventually an experiment was proposed. Scott was to take his wife to the most exclusive restaurant, sit at the nicest table and ignore anyone that looked at him crossly. Scott knew he was ready. The night of the dinner, dressed in their finest clothing, they arrived at the restaurant. The maitre d' was a consummate professional and never batted even an eye lash. Scott's hope were raised, and his confidence bolstered. The first hiccup occurred when the sommelier over poured the wine glass while staring at him, but Scott knew he was fine, just the way he was, so with a raised eyebrow, he sent the wine man away. From there, it all went downhill. First, the man at the closest table let loose with the smallest snicker. Scott ignored him. Then, several tables away, another couple pointed at him. Scott ignored them, too. Finally, from across the room, a man stood up laughing uncontrollably and gestured wildly at Scott. He had finally reached his limit. Throwing down his napkin, Scott rose and addressed the man directly. ""Sir! I'm sorry that my appearance has interrupted your meal, but this is uncalled for! Although I may look differently from you, I am still a man, and deserve to be treated as one!"" To which the stranger replied, wiping tears from his face, ""No, no, no! You have it all wrong! I'm not laughing at you at all! It's the guy behind you! He keeps dipping his bread in your back!"" tl;dr Read the damn thing, you lazy bastard