Natalie Jokes

What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie.

Shipwrecked! After a messy divorce, a middle aged man decides he needs to take some time for himself, and decides to take a cruise in the South Pacific to let off some steam and relax. He's enjoying the trip, relaxing and mostly keeping to himself, when suddenly the clouds darken and a huge storm springs up. The ship begins to pitch and roll. People are panicking. The captain announces that the ship is going to sink. Just as the man slips on his life jacket and begins to head for the lifeboats a…

There are some things that are certain in life. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. ""Can I help you?"" she asked. ""I want to see Natalie,"" the man replied. ""Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,"" said the madam. ""No, I must see Natalie"" was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesit…

1000$ a night The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.. ""Can I help you?"" the madam asked. ""I want Natalie,"" the old man replied. ""Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."" ""No, I must see Natalie."" Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man cal…

Stranded on an Island There once was a young single guy on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island. Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a wo…

What do you call the only wood that doesn't float? Natalie.

What's Natalie Portman's favorite element? Thorium.

The madam opened the brothel door to find an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all dishevelled and he looked needy. ""Can I help you?"" the madam asked. ""I want Natalie,"" the old man replied. ""Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."" ""No, I must see Natalie."" Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges 1,000 per visit. The man never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her ten 100 notes. The two went up to a room f…

I just got Natalie Portman's autograph! Sure, it's on a restraining order, but still...

Natalie A guy hails a cab at the airport and tells the driver to go to a certain address. When he gets there he sees a beautiful three story townhouse in a upper-class part of town. He knocks and an attractive woman opens the door. "I wanna see Natalie" The lady looks the man up and down, he clearly doesn't have a lot of money. "Sir, to see Natalie you will have to pay $1,000 for half an hour" "No problem, I have money" Just then a gorgeous brunette in a black evening gown comes down the s…

"The Personal Touch" The brothel’s madam opened the door to find an elderly gentleman standing there. “May I help you?” asked the madam. “I want Natalie,” replied the man. “Sir, Natalie is our most expensive girls. Perhaps someone else?” “No, I must see Natalie,” insisted the man. Just then, Natalie appeared and advised the man that she charges $1000 a visit. Without blinking an eye, he reached in his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two of them then went up to a room for a…

Husband: "Honey, at work I fainted, and Natalie took me to the doctor. He says I need a brain surgery in 72 hours and blood transfusion also." Wife: "Who is Natalie?"

An Old Man Visits A Brothel The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman. "Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want Natalie," the old man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..." "No, I must see Natalie." Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereu…

why didn't natalie wood take a shower on the boat? she wanted to wash up on shore...

What does natalia portman have on the ends of her feet? her natalie